My Caly-girl turned 3 last week. She loves books and one of her birthday gifts was that kid’s classic, If You Give A Mouse A Cookie. It has already been read many times over.
For our Friday Funnies I thought you might enjoy the “mommy version” of this tale. Chances are, you may have already read this as it’s been
around a while. But no doubt, you can relate.
Have a great weekend! Caly’s Mommy, for her Aunts and Mom-Mom
If You Give A Mom A Muffin
Original Author Unknown
If you give a mom a muffin, She’ll want a cup of coffee to go with it. She’ll pour herself some. Her three-year-old will spill the coffee. She’ll wipe it up. Wiping the floor, she’ll find dirty socks. She’ll remember she has to do laundry. When she puts the laundry in the washer, She’ll trip over boots and bump into the freezer. Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan for supper. She will get out a pound of hamburger. She’ll look for her cookbook (“101 Things To Do With a Pound of Hamburger”). The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail. She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow. She will look for her checkbook. The check book is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two-year-old. She’ll smell something funny. She’ll change the two year old’s diaper. While she is changing the diaper, the phone will ring. Her five-year-old will answer and hang up. She’ll remember she wants to phone a friend for coffee. Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup. And chances are… If she has a cup of coffee, Her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.
2009 at 11:57 am | by Carolyn Mahaney
In the past week, we’ve considered the single woman’s relationships to men and what kind of friends she should pursue. But there’s one more relationship that it is a great deal in the single season: children.
You can express your femininity by nurturing children. In Genesis 1, we see that male and female were created to be fruitful and multiply. As women we are created to be life-bearers. Our bodies have been designed with the ability to mother—to receive, to carry and bear children, to breast feed. Our body prepares itself repeatedly to conceive and bear young.
So, how does a single woman enter into the meaning of motherhood if she doesn’t have children of her own? How does she express her femininity as life-bearer, as nurturer?
Elisabeth Elliot answered this question:
“A single woman can have children! She may be a spiritual mother, as was Amy Carmichael [missionary to orphans in India], by the very offering of her singleness, transformed for the good of far more children than a natural mother may produce.”
Single women, you can express your femininity in this season of your life by nurturing other people’s children.
When you babysit, you are giving expression to your femininity. When you take an interest and reach out to children in your sphere of relationships, you are displaying your God-given gift of femininity.
And may I say “thank you” on behalf of all of us mothers! Thank you for the way you nurture our children. Thank you for the countless times you have served us through babysitting. Thank you for the way you have loved our children as if they were your very own. It means so much to us!
However, you are doing more than just blessing us, you are honoring God by giving expression to the nurturing aspect of your femininity
2009 at 6:09 pm | by Janelle Bradshaw
Today we conclude our discussion on friendships for the single woman by taking a look at Colossians 4:5-6. This verse tells us to, “Walk in wisdom towards outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”
One application from this verse is our conduct with unbelievers. Obviously, in writing this verse Paul assumes that we have contact with those outside the faith. So if all of your friends have grown up in a Christian home or been a Christian for twenty years, you’re missing someone—friends who need salvation.
Often it can be so easy for us as women to get consumed by our school or work and we neglect the priority of evangelism. It’s like we walk around campus, through the office cubicles, in and out of the store, and across the street with our head down and blinders on. But we are supposed to be reaching out and having gracious, gospel-motivated conversations with non-Christians. You don’t know any? They are not that hard to find. Maybe all you have to do is look up!
2009 at 3:51 pm | by Janelle Bradshaw
For the single woman, friends are one of the best deals of your season. As it says in Proverbs 12:26, “The righteous should choose his friends carefully” (NKJV). Yesterday we considered friends who sharpen and spur us on to godliness. Today we want to look at two more friends that Scripture exhorts us to pursue.
First we should pursue friends that mentor. Titus 2:3-5 commands the older women to be training the younger women. We should all be aggressively seeking out other women to help us grow in the admirable qualities of biblical femininity. And if you are that older woman, I want to encourage you to consider passing on your experience and wisdom to those behind you. We need it! So, stop a moment and consider your friends. Young women, we should ask ourselves: “Do I have a friend from whom I am learning some aspect of biblical womanhood?” And older women, ask this question: “Am I faithfully imparting biblical womanhood to at least one friend?”
And secondly, let’s look for friends who need friends. It’s so easy, isn’t it, to get comfortable with our close friends? While longtime friends are a huge blessing from the Lord, we are also called to reach out to the new person and the lonely. “Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers,” exhorts Hebrews 13:1-2. Remember what it was like to be new or not know anyone? To see other women chatting excitedly and to have no one to talk to? To choose our friends carefully means we must guard against selfishness and laziness. So let’s take a look around us: “Who is one woman I should reach out to?” It can be as simple as introducing ourselves to a visitor at church, or inviting a quiet woman out for coffee, or including someone new at our weekly lunch with friends. May we all commit to helping new friends not feel new for very long.
Let’s not miss out on these two great friendship opportunities. Somehow I think we may all be surprised to find that we are the ones that end up with the good end of the deal.
2009 at 1:55 pm | by Janelle Bradshaw
How about our friendships? In addition to family, who are we to pursue? Proverbs 12:26 tells us that: “The righteous should choose his friends carefully” (NKJV). What does that mean? A brief look at Scripture gives us a good grid whereby we can evaluate our friendships. It tells us exactly what kind of friends we are to have.
First, we should have friends that “sharpen.” Our idea of a best friend might be someone who’s easy to get along with, shares our opinions on fashion and food, finishes our sentences, sticks by us in the rough times, and is free to hang out on a Friday night. All plus-points of course (especially the food part) but Scripture says there’s a friend quality of much greater value. A friend we can’t afford to do without. The best of friends, according to Proverbs 27:17, is one who sharpens us as “iron sharpens iron” (NKJV). Hebrews 10:24 tells us that this friend is one who “[stirs us] up…to love and good works.” We need to have at least one-and preferably many-friends who inspire us to serve, provoke us to love, help us to grow in godliness, correct us, strengthen our faith, and spur us on to passion for the Savior.
Got any friends like this? Maybe you simply need to take a current relationship in a new direction. Invite your friends to point out your sin, encourage you in the gospel, and stir you up to love and good deeds. Ask them to become friends that sharpen.
But maybe, as we assess the spiritual maturity of our friends, we realize that we need to add some godly friends. This may require a step or two outside the old comfort zone. But even if it’s a little awkward at first, we need to initiate friendships with people we’re confident will sharpen us.
Tomorrow, we’ll look at more great friendship deals of the single season.
2009 at 2:13 pm | by Carolyn Mahaney
Femininity is not a wedding gift; it’s how we were created. Equal in worth and dignity to men, we nevertheless have different, divinely appointed roles. When God made Eve, He assigned her, and every woman after her, the honorable task of helper (Gen. 1:27, 2:18).
“The Bible makes it clear in numerous passages that as Christians we are all here to serve. But there is a specific application found in Scripture for a wife to be a helper to her husband. Even before that gracious gift of a husband is provided, there are ways for the faint echoes of “helpmate” to be discernible in the lives of single women.”
When we consider the best deals of the single season, “helper” is near the top of the list. How can you make these “faint echoes” discernible in your life and more specifically, in your relationships with men?
Of course that’s a big subject—way too big to cover in this little post. But let me make one simple suggestion: you can help by encouraging godly men to lead. You can display your femininity by making room for godly men to practice servant leadership.
Now, this doesn’t mean you should follow the leadership of any and every man. And of course you must never allow a man to lead you into sin or lead you away from God’s priorities for your life.
But where possible, in your relationships with godly men in the church and in your life, do what you can to encourage them to take the initiative.
Granted, this is not always easy. And I am not promising you that all men will automatically lead in response to your encouragement. What matters is that you are cultivating the habit of making room for the leadership of men in your life.
The Lord has put certain men in your life—fathers, bosses, friends—and they need to know that you incline toward following their godly leadership instead of resisting it.
For example, if you have a big decision to make—seek out your father or your pastor or your small group leader’s counsel. Don’t independently assume you can do without wise leadership. Rather, give these godly men an opportunity to lead.
In your small group or with friends, don’t always be the one to initiate activities and plan events. Carolyn McCulley suggests pitching your idea to one of the guys in your group of friends Ask him to lead, but then offer your assistance in any way you can.
And whenever you observe a godly man step up to lead a group activity, voice your appreciation and display a willingness to follow. Even if their leadership is not perfectly executed (and it probably won’t be!), your encouragement will spur them on fulfill their God-given role.
2009 at 5:42 pm | by Janelle Bradshaw
It’s time to take a look at the second great deal of the single season: Relationships.
Women are, for the most part, relational creatures. Our world is often
centered on family and friends. Yet, we are often more passive and
receptive than we are intentional and purposeful in our relationships.
We may allow people to drift in and out of our lives. We don’t usually
slow down to consider why we pursue certain friendships or neglect
others. Emotions and feelings often dictate the way we go about our
If people are so important and consume such a big chunk of our time,
then we must stop and prayerfully consider our relational priorities in
light of God’s priorities. Do our relationships—the time we spend
with others—bring glory to God? Are we investing our lives in the
people God has called us to love and serve?
Tomorrow we’ll consider the question: “How does the single woman display her God-given femininity in her relationships with men?”
2009 at 10:16 am | by Carolyn Mahaney
At one time or another, we’ve all been students—driven to absorb knowledge by the beneficent shadow of our next exam. Minus this external pressure, though, our learning often slows to a trickle.
But our student-mindset shouldn’t end with the diploma or degree. We should be lifelong students—first and foremost of God’s Word.
As I said yesterday, the single season is one of the most valuable times of your life to pursue study of doctrine. But we don’t drift into God’s Word naturally. Beneficial study of doctrine will only become a reality if we have a plan and when necessary, some accountability.
There is no one-size-fits-all plan. Let me encourage you to begin by asking your pastor for advice. I assure you that he will be eager to help here! Tell him you want to more intentionally study God’s Word and ask him to recommend a plan for you. This may include Bible commentaries, books on theology or the Christian Life. For starters, you can see a list of must-reads CJ gave me a while ago. Some seminaries even offer courses to help you study God’s Word.
Next, carve out some time—in addition to your daily devotions—for study. Maybe this is a Saturday morning when you’re fresh, or a great Sabbath activity. But if you don’t put it on the schedule, many other options will compete successfully for your attention.
Finally, ask a friend to be your “professor.” Maybe you turn in a paper to them, summarizing what you’ve learned, or maybe they just check in to see how you’re progressing.
To become a theologian you must retain your student-mindset, all life long.
2009 at 2:12 pm | by Carolyn Mahaney
Every Christian is a theologian; but as a single woman you have a unique opportunity to study doctrine. I don’t want you to miss it.
May I give you some motherly (or sisterly) advice?
I sit here today as a fifty-three year old wife and mother of four. My youngest son is in high school and for the first time in over thirty years, more and more of my time is “my own.” For the past three decades I have had very little discretionary time—and when my children were little, almost none at all. While I still made studying doctrine a priority, the reality is that my time was severely limited.
As a single woman you are probably very busy. You may be in school, have a job, serve in the church, maintain relationships, care for family…whew! I’m tired just thinking about your hectic life.
But whether you feel like it or not, you have a distinct advantage over the mom with small children: your time is your own. Despite the many, legitimate, demands on your life, you have great freedom to choose how you spend your time.
Please don’t waste a moment of this precious and limited season. Be a student of God’s Word. Study eagerly, study deliberately, study faithfully.
When you dedicate your time to growing in your knowledge of God, you’ll make deposits into your future life that will yield blessing upon blessing.
2009 at 3:57 pm | by Carolyn Mahaney
What does undivided devotion look like in real life? How do you put legs on it and walk it out? For starters, you should become a theologian!
Bruce Milne explains:
“[As] a matter of plain fact every Christian is a theologian!… By virtue of being born again we have all begun to know God and therefore have a certain understanding of his nature and actions. That is, we all have a theology of sorts, whether or not we have ever sat down and pieced it together. So properly understood, theology is not for a few religious eggheads with a flair for abstract debate—it is everybody’s business. Once we have grasped this, our duty is to become the best theologians we can to the glory of God, as our understanding of God and his ways is clarified and deepened through studying the book he has given for that very purpose, the Bible (2 Tim. 3:16)…[G]etting doctrine right is the key to getting everything else right…[A]t every point right living begins with right thinking.”
Did you catch that? Getting doctrine right is the key to getting everything else right. If you want to live rightly in the single years—and I know you do!—then you must think rightly about God. And in order to think rightly about God you must study His Word.
Can I encourage you—no, can I strongly urge you—to seize your single years and become the best theologian you can to the glory of God?
After receiving this video from three different people I knew it was a must for Friday Funnies.
Until Monday, Janelle for Mom, Nicole and Kristin
UPDATE: Today we received the following email from an observant Noël Piper:
Too funny! HOWEVER, you can’t prove some of them are women. In fact, the next to last one of the minivan running onto the rising bollards (great British phrase), is definitely a man. Look, and you’ll see the steering wheel is on the opposite side. Besides, that “I’m going to make it!” attitude is definitely more masculine. And can’t you just hear his wife? “I told you this is a bus-only lane! What are we going to do now? How are we going to get out of here. NOOOOOOOOOO!
The most hilarious scene is the purse being handed out first from the upside down van.
I guess that proves men and women are equally funny in the can’t-drive dept.
2009 at 4:52 pm | by Janelle Bradshaw
For many, Valentine’s Day can be a painful reminder of singleness. One woman wrote us this week to express gratefulness for our series, but slight consternation at our timing:
“Ladies, I had to laugh at your latest post entitled “The Single Season.” So close to Valentine’s Day and you reminded a group of your readers that we are single. We had forgotten for half a second.”
I have to confess that we girltalkers have a hard time remembering Valentine’s Day. We know many people who have wonderful traditions surrounding this holiday—with spouses, children, friends, or parents; but it was never one of the “major” holidays in our family. So, to all our single readers, please know it was a total accident that our series on singleness collided with the love holiday.
“If Valentine’s Day is hard because we think everyone else is out celebrating their romances (which isn’t as common among married couples as we’d like to speculate), then we can turn our gaze inward and start pondering that gray blob of self-pity. We translate singleness into loneliness.
When those temptations come, those are grace moments. That’s when we need to literally, out loud, ask for God’s grace to respond differently….Our Father is ready and willing to give us all we need to step out. His outpouring of grace is not dependent on our requests, but it’s a wonderful exercise to ask Him.
To encounter loneliness through the eyes of faith is to see opportunities to minister love. Grace translates singleness into outreach. There are plenty of people on Valentine’s Day or other holidays, parties or weddings — single and married — who need someone to carry God’s love to them.”
If you’re struggling with your single status this weekend, may God give you eyes of faith to see opportunities all around you to minister love to others. May grace translate your singleness into outreach.
2009 at 12:55 pm | by Nicole Whitacre
Now that we’ve considered what not to spend our time on in the single season (“the present form of the world”) we come to the first great deal of the single season. You probably noticed it in 1 Corinthians 7:34-35:
“And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord” (emphasis mine).
Free from the anxieties attendant upon marriage and family, you have the opportunity to live for the things of the Lord, to pursue undivided devotion to Him.
You have “a unique calling and a unique responsibility” insists pastor John Piper:
“It is not a calling to extend irresponsible adolescence into your thirties. It is a calling to do what only single men and women in Christ can do in this world, namely, to display by the Christ-exalting devotion of your singleness the truths about Christ and his kingdom that shine more clearly through singleness than through marriage.”
What does my singleness say about Christ and His kingdom?
Is my life one of Christ exalting devotion?
Am I anxious about the things of the Lord or the things of this world?
Is holiness in body and spirit my highest aim?
Undivided devotion is cultivated through reading God’s Word and prayer (Ps 86:11), and it comes with the promise: “The world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever” (1 John 2:17). Undivided devotion to Christ is, by far, the best deal of the single season.
2009 at 3:30 pm | by Nicole Whitacre
The verse we considered yesterday, 1 Corinthians 7, serves as a kind of “financial advisor” for the single season. This passage informs you of quality deals and advises you against bad investments. In the context of answering this question about singleness and marriage, Paul gets to his real point:
“This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away” (vv. 29-31)
How do you avoid wasteful spending of your time? Don’t invest it all in “the present form of this world.” ‘Cause it ain’t gonna last.
“Form” here carries the idea of “fickleness [or] the changing fashion. There is nothing solid and lasting in this world’s system. It is its nature to pass away” (Gordon Fee).
Here’s a metaphor we women can understand: fashion. The world’s bargains are as fickle, as fleeting as this year’s “in” style. And they won’t come back again in twenty years.
“Believe me, there is nothing here that is worthy of your pursuit,” warns pastor Charles Spurgeon:
“If you give your soul up to anything earthly, whether it be the wealth, or the honours, or the pleasures of this world, you might as well hunt after the mirage of the desert or try to collect the mists of the morning, or to store up for yourself the clouds of the sky, for all these things are passing away.”
While we must live in this world and “deal” with it, we must not set our heart on it or put our hope in it or give up our soul to it’s offerings.
So what are the good deals of this season? More shopping for time advice from 1 Corinthians 7 tomorrow.