Filed under Marriage
Wow girls…there must be a lot of happy husbands out there! We received so many responses to our request for ideas for doing our husband good that we could spend a few weeks posting and not get to them all. As it is, we’re going to pass on as many as we can in the next five days.
I trust it goes without saying that you have to determine which of these ideas might bless your husband. Getting it wrong might not be so good! But even if we each come away with only a few ideas, I hope they will all inspire us to do our husband as much good as we can, all the days of our lives.
Here are the first seven women with some super ideas:
I’ve had some big creative plans like scavenger hunts with love notes and special activities…but surprising to me those weren’t the most successful ways of doing good to my husband. I got the best reaction from him with a couple of simple efforts. I can often have a bad attitude when he needs to work late and about his love for sports. One night when he was working late I left him a nice note, a copy of Sports Illustrated, and a big glass of iced tea. When he arrived home and saw these things it meant the world to him!
The other thing that was very successful was I taught our two year old daughter to say, "Thank you for working Daddy!" every time he arrived home. He loved it and she received such great reactions from him she says it all the time.
Sometimes when my hubby first gets home from work, I’ll have his favorite snack and a drink sitting by the computer w/ his favorite websites pulled up or I’ll have a bath run for him w/ soft music and a candle going to give him a little time to relax after his hard day!
This is something we both do - the first one to brush their teeth sets the other’s toothbrush w/ paste out. It’s small, but just a nice gesture to show that you are thinking of the other person.
Asking him in the mornings before he leaves, "Is there anything I can do for you today? Is there anything I can pray about for you today?"
These were my husband’s responses when I asked him for some ways I "do him good”:
~ Cooking meals!
~ Being a good steward of our money
~ Practicing frugality by finding good deals at the store
1.) speak well of him to others (both when he is present and when he is not)
2.) pack him a lunch (and include a tasty treat)
3.) tell him regularly that you are happy you married him
4.) tell his mother how wonderfully he treats you
5.) tell your mother how wonderfully he treats you
6.) forgive him in grace, even when he forgets things that are important to you
7.) regularly tell your kids the things you love about him
8.) help your kids write special notes to him, affirming the things they love about him as a dad
9.) take the initiative in love-making and be willing to be spontaneous (a hard thing for tired moms sometimes!)
10.) encourage him to spend time with his guy friends and help make sure it happens regularly (our men sometimes forget how much they need this kind of time).
My husband is blessed when I choose to be content, joyful and thankful regardless of my circumstances. The first thing that came to mind as a way to bless my husband from a distance (he was on a business trip) was to send him an email with the highlights of our day. For him to know that I was doing well and that I wasn’t overwhelmed with caring for three girls by myself really put his mind at ease.
I emailed my husband 10 reasons I love, like or respect about him each day, up to 100 reasons. I was a bit worried at the beginning of the project that I would be able to come up with 100 reasons, but it was surprisingly easy, and he liked it so much that I continue to send him reasons every now and again…I think we’re up to 160. He never saves e-mails, but he keeps these in a special folder, and it’s actually good for me as well. Whenever I feel bitterness, frustration, or resentment creeping into my heart toward him, I go back and look at all my lists and remember how blessed I am!
Make notes or emails fun by writing a poem (romantic or silly!). I have also written sweet (well, hopefully sweet!) poems when I have needed to apologize for something, and my husband has said it’s meant a lot to him.
My hubby says he is able to work better at his job when he knows that we are doing well at home. So sometimes, instead of just saying "we’re fine" I send him a picture on the computer or on his cell phone of our sons happily playing or even of me giving him a big smile. He says he loves to be able to see what we’re doing and feel at home even when he’s away from home. Also, sometimes when my husband is in class at seminary, and I know he is getting tired near the end of the day, I send him a picture on his cell phone of something I just baked in the oven so he knows what’s waiting for him when he gets home. He loves that!
I try to surprise him when he’s not expecting it…like putting a tiny "I love you" note on his fork when I set the table or putting his towel in the dryer while he is showering so it’s all warm when he gets out. When he is typing a paper on his computer and he leaves his computer for a moment, I sneak and type in big letters on his paper I LOVE YOU! or something like that so that when he returns he has a surprise note waiting!
For his birthday last year I left Happy Birthday notes stuck everywhere…on the bathroom mirror, his dresser, his breakfast plate, the steering wheel in the car, his cell phone, etc. He loved it!
This is not very creative, but I know one of the biggest ways I encourage my husband is to have a yummy meal and a big kiss for him when he gets home at the end of the day!
One more idea—I typed up a questionnaire for him and asked him all sorts of questions ranging from "Do you think we have enough variety when it comes to meals?" to "What is the habit you would most like to see me change?" He said that he liked being able to write things out because it helped him think better, and it helped him to articulate his thoughts. He liked it so much that he made one up for me to fill out! It really sparked good conversation and helped us to talk out some things that surfaced as a result of our answers on the questionnaires. (Note: I made my questionnaire look like an official letter and formally addressed it to him in an envelope, wrote a mock set of instructions, etc. It made it fun and helped convey affection—well, at least that’s what my hubby said!)
Well, I have personally found doing good to my husband, is to have sex with him. That always cheers him up. The Lord has obviously given this beautiful intimacy (in the context of marriage) for all to enjoy!