Titus 2:3 exhorts the older women to teach the younger women. Today we can learn from four wise, older women—all have been married for more than twenty years—about ways each has learned to do her husband good.
One way that I regularly strive in to do my husband good is by not complaining about my work in the home, but instead embrace it with joy. We have a large family, and the duties that fall on my shoulders throughout the day are many. Early on in our marriage, when I was just learning homemaking and trying to do a good job, I would feel overwhelmed by my tasks. With young children underfoot, I would be tempted to think that my husband should do more to lighten my load, even though he was gone all day working hard to provide for us himself. I learned then that I need to submit my heart to the Lord daily to undertake my responsibilities to serve my husband and family with a willing and joyful spirit. I accepted the fact that it is not my husband’s job to lighten my load, but my responsibility to take my “load” to the Lord and let Him lighten it by my finding that “the joy of the Lord is my strength.” I have to remind myself that I am my husband’s helper and not the other way around. This is not to say that a husband should never help his wife, but when we embrace our “helpmeet role” with faith and vision we can better appreciate the way the Lord designed marriage to produce the most fruit. By my being efficient in housework, consistently training our children, diligently home educating them, teaching them to honor their daddy, and being a cheerful homemaker and wife, I can bring tremendous joy to my husband when he returns home from a hard day at work. As Proverbs 31:11 says, “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.”
Happily married to Dan for 27 years and blessed with 11 wonderful children.
Last Valentine’s Day, I used some heart-shaped vinyl “stickers” and a red dry erase marker and I decorated our bathroom mirror with some of the things I love about him…Things like “You’re a Great Dad” “You’re a wonderful provider” “You are a godly leader of our family”, etc. My big and colorful message did surprise and please him. (My teen guys thought it was neat, so I secretly did a little one on their mirror also.)
Sending love notes (complete with heart stickers and lipstick kiss imprints on the outside of the envelope) to his work
Making sure to take care of little things he asks you to do (like mending, running errands)
Buy a new nightgown that you know will please him
Clean his car—inside and out——-polish everything!
Say nice things about him to others (in front of him AND when he isn’t
Clean out his closet or clean and straighten his bookshelf
Plan a dining room date for just the two of you (the kids get to eat in front of their favorite movie in another room, while you and your husband have couple time!) Don’t forget the candles!
Bake his favorite goodies—-often!!
Clean out all his drawers and neaten all his clothes.
Ask him what he is in need of as you go shopping.
Tell your children (often) how blessed they are to have him for a dad.Tell them how much they should appreciate all that their dad does for them (and name those things specifically!)
Keep a dry erase board on the refrigerator—-to write little love notes to your hubby
When he travels, hide little love notes all through his luggage (in pockets, shoes, socks, shaving kit, books, etc)
Try to take care of (even learn more of how to do) household tasks that are hard for him to find time for, or maybe doesn’t enjoy doing (like painting walls and trim or shampooing carpet). We are ladies, but we can work hard and learn how to do those things.
When he comes back from a trip, make him a large poster telling him all the things you missed about him!
Write love note (G-rated, of course) in large sidewalk chalk letters in your driveway (may be good to use in combination with the in-house date—above!)
Kidnap your husband from work and take his somewhere special (you will have to get his boss’s permission!)—-Elementary-aged kids really love helping with this—including a “ransom note” made with letters cut out of magazines!
Draw hearts in the snow on his car or in the snow of your driveway.
Go in (secretly) to his work office in the evening and decorate his whole desk with cut-out red and white heart and love notes (Good way to celebrate Valentine’s Day!)
One of our “love traditions” is the TEA BOX—- when we were first married, we took turns buying one another small fun items that would fit inside of a tea box (you could use any kind of small box). It was a way of saying, “I love you and was thinking of you today.” As life got busy with children, we let that tradition slip by the wayside, but in the past year and a half, we have started it up again (We just celebrated our 25th anniversary). It is so fun to buy special little things for him AND to see what he finds for me also. (And he is always so glad when he has found something that especially pleases me!)
I am most happy in my marriage when I am making my husband happy and so my doing him good ends up doing myself good. I learned this early on in our marriage, 30+ years ago. When children came along I was very task oriented. My husband after dinner would ask me to sit with him with a cup of coffee. At first my inward response was, “I have too much to do…” or “the kids need…..”. But then I realized that this was something my husband desired of me and therefore was more important than anything else. And so began a daily ritual of after dinner coffee and conversation. For 1/2 hour each day our children observed that mommy and daddy had each other’s attention and they would be best served by waiting their turn. I am so thankful for these times. Yes, I was initially doing my husband good, but I was doing myself good and I believe doing our children good.