Filed under Marriage
Here’s the final batch of ideas…
My husband has been quoted as saying, “The 5AM Club is the greatest thing for our marriage!” After reading Shopping for Time, I have adopted this habit and it HAS been so good for our marriage. I currently work outside of the home, so the only time I seem to be able to care for our home is briefly after work…if we don’t have a home community or date night. When I get up, I’m able to read, pray, plan and care for our home before I even walk out the door to go to the office. When I’m done at 5pm, I’m ready to come home and give my husband my all…not my left-overs.
Only by God’s grace (and my sister-in-laws calls each morning) am I able to get out of our warm bed and get my day started off right. Sitting at Jesus’ feet first thing sets the tone for my day, leaving me still joyful and energized after a long day at work. I get to focus on my man instead of the dishes and that makes him happy. The sacrifice from 5:00 to 5:05 before the coffee kicks in becomes well worth it when my husband feels like he gets my full attention at night.
One thing I like to do is to completely clear a Saturday for my husband. He works so hard during the week, and I usually have a ‘honey do” list for him on the weekends. I like to give him a “honey do” list that has nothing on it. I take away any of my own expectations of what I wish/hope he will do, I take care of our son and allow him to do whatever he wants to do. Starting the day out with a breakfast with just the two of us makes it special too.
For Valentine’s Day one year (but could be for no reason at all) I decorated my husband’s office door with 10 reasons why I love him. I used butcher paper and each of the 10 reasons were on a different heart. He still talks about that as his favorite gift that I’ve ever given him.
I’ve also left a new CD with a card in the seat of his car during the work day.
Keep a husband prayer journal. Date entries and what your husband is needing prayer for and PRAY. This encourages my husband very much. For him to know that I am aware and asking and praying for his heart. That Jesus would continue his work in my husband and that I am not to be the one to change my husband, but that I trust God to sanctify him.
Schedule social commitments, appointments, projects, and household tasks to happen when he is gone. So that when he is home, you have preserved time, your heart, and your body for giving to him.
When you are with him, pursue his heart with curiosity. Know what questions show him you are paying attention to him. When you ask him a question, look in his eyes, don’t do a task!
Send an email or a text message especially if he has a difficult meeting or conflict to deal with, letting him know that you are with him.
Have a family dinner that honors him, kids make cards thanking daddy for his work for the family and for God.
Make his favorite cookies and take them to his car while he is at work and leave them on a plate with a sweet note on his seat, for him to find when he gets off work.
Prepare your mind and body during the day to plan on making love. So, if he pursues you have prayed, prepared, and are ready to respond lovingly.
Pursue him sexually!
Know his schedule so that you can pray for him throughout his day.
Find old love letters and photocopy them. Write a sequel to the old one, finding new ways to express the same sentiment. Showing that as God has continued to bless your marriage, your love and commitment is deeper and your respect continually renewed for him. This can rekindle romance to think back to the intial “in love” feelings.
My husband doesn’t always take initiative in setting up get-togethers with his guy friends. So once in awhile I’ll gently suggest that he invite some of them over so he can have an enjoyable time with his buddies. I leave the house to them for a few hours but before I go, I whip up a big batch of chili, taco soup (Paula Deen’s recipe is available online and is absolutely the best!), or some pulled pork in my slow cooker, and dish up all the sides and toppings on the buffet. The guys have a great night together, are well-fed, and I get an evening to myself at the local Starbucks, where I curl up with a good book! This is a fun way to “do him good” while exercising my own interests in hospitality and cooking in a unique way.