Filed under Fun Stuff Friday Funnies
Girltalk headquarters (although it’s probably a stretch to call it that) is split between our homes in Montgomery County, MD (Mom, Janelle and Kristin) and Fairfax County, VA (Nicole). Both counties are suburbs of Washington, DC.
Every region has its quirks and peculiarities that only locals are familiar with, and DC is no exception. To help give you an idea of what things are like around here, and to prepare you in case you ever come to visit, here are a few facts you’ll want to know. Although you may decide not to come after reading this week’s Friday Funny.
Nicole for the DC girltalkers
Washington DC Area Explained
For those who plan to visit/move to our area… ?First, you must learn to call it by its rightful name. It is DC or ‘the District’ - only tourists call it Washington. ?Next, if your road map of Montgomery County is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one: it’s obsolete. If in Loudoun or Fairfax County and your map is one day old, it’s already obsolete. In DC, it doesn’t matter. Whatever road you want is probably one-way in the opposite direction from what you want.
All directions start with “The Beltway…” which has no beginning and no end, just one continuous loop. Locals believe this is somehow clarified by an ‘inner loop’ and ‘outer loop’ designation, but which makes no sense to ANYONE outside the area.
If you get over in the exit or entrance ramps for an interstate in a timely fashion, you are definitely a tourist. You’re supposed to either get over early and cruise down the shoulder at 90mph, or wait until 3" before you pass it, to exit.
The morning rush hour is from 5–11am. The evening rush hour is from 1–8pm. Friday’s rush hour starts Thursday morning,
It is illegal to drive faster than 5mph past an accident or disabled vehicle or policeman writing a ticket. You must stop and stare before you pass any of these. The farther off the road they are, the more you should look. You must not stop and offer help of any kind, however. Also, if you hear a siren, make sure you do not stop or move over; just slow down to 15mph, or stop and park in the middle of the roadway.
Rain causes an immediate 50 point drop of IQ in drivers. Snow causes an immediate 100 point drop in IQ and a rush to the nearest grocery store for toilet paper and milk and bread.