Filed under Biblical Womanhood Suffering
A young mom in our church recently learned that her unborn baby has a serious neural tube defect known as Anencephaly. Barring a miracle, the baby has no chance of survival outside her womb.
The following are some recent ponderings she has graciously allowed us to post. Her extraordinary faith and eternal perspective will surely turn our eyes heavenward. Together with her, we long for the day when "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4
We found out at our last doctor’s appointment that we are having a baby boy! No names as of yet, but we will keep you posted. C was very active in the womb, but nothing compared to this little fellow. As I lie awake at night from his fierce kicks, elbows and jabs, I imagine that he is going to be strong. I imagine that just like his big brother he is going to love to dance and run and kick the ball. I love to imagine him running, unlike C constrained by mama’s words of, ‘no street, son,’ or ‘hold mama’s hand,’ or the fence in our backyard, I picture him running in fields so vast and beautiful—beyond my imagination. Colors so vibrant and alive, too beautiful for my meager mind to comprehend. I picture him dancing to a melody never heard before by C or me. A melody so sweet, so fragrant, so amazing, breathing life into his soul. I imagine his smile (will he have a dimple like his brother?), will his eyes glisten, be blue?!? I imagine him worshiping and dancing from day one, something that has taken C a year to figure out…this little one will be doing from the very beginning. I imagine the day when I will be able to dance hand in hand with my son… not on his wedding day…but on a day more glorious and more special…the day when we will both be face to face with our Savior!
It breaks my heart to imagine how frail and weak my little boy is now within the womb. But when he kicks me with such strength, I am reminded how in only a few short months he will be made new…no deformities, no weakness!!! I imagine how the Lord is going to use my son’s strength for his glory and his purposes in Heaven. What even brings me more delight is to know that the strength of the Lord truly is going to be his delight each and every day. How precious these moments are for me as a mommy, to feel my son within me. My love for my new son grows stronger with each and every kick. I know that far too soon I will long for these days again (as hard as some of them have physically been). I am blessed with this time now that he is in my womb, for I know until ‘that day’ comes when I will see him again, this is my time with my precious little boy! Please pray that I cherish each and every one.