Q & A - Video Games, pt. 2

Yesterday we heard from pastor's wife and mom Valori Maresco about the matter of video games in their home. Today, we listen in as another mom and pastor's wife, Janis Shank, shares how she and her husband, Steve, parent their son through this issue.

We have had to face the issue of media games with our 15 year old son (technology had not sufficiently progressed for this to be a big issue with our two older sons or daughter). Here are some principles we have put in place to guide us in the use of Play Station 2 and on-line computer games (with people we know) in our home.

1. Priorities over privileges. The priorities we have stressed have been:

• spiritual growth
• study of God’s word and related books/topics
• participation in our local church
• joyful participation with family activities
• education (including music and sports)
• age appropriate work/chores/responsibilities

Only after these things are prioritized and practiced do we allow the “privilege” of video/computer games, for a limited amount of time, no more than 45 minutes on a given day (with a little more time allowed in the summer months or with a friend on a weekend). On many days there is simply not time remaining for him to play. The kitchen timer is set as a form of accountability.

2. Parental review. Dad has looked at the games, and critiqued them in areas of modesty, graphic depiction of violence, etc. Some games put a premium not only on violence, but graphic displays of it, emphasizing blood, gore, etc. We have chosen not to allow those games. However, some games, though they include shooting, do not seem to emphasize/dramatize the violence that other games do, and we have allowed them.

3. Moderation. Whether it is video games, sports, hobbies, time with friends, etc. we have attempted to use Scripture and the principle of “moderation in all things” as a guide, not allowing the popular trends of what culture accepts to dictate our decisions. Rather, we have asked the following questions of our son to help him look at heart issues:

• How important is participation in these games is to you?
• Do you prioritize them above essential things?
• Do they distract you, preoccupying your thoughts throughout the day?

If video games seem to dominate and animate his thoughts, even though he isn’t actually playing, we discuss idolatry and cravings in his heart and we attempt to help him see these things from the perspective of honoring God with his life, so he can learn to discern how his heart operates. And if needed, curtail the privilege.

Finally,

4. Dad is responsible. Mom just doesn’t quite understand the thrill of video games that depict hunting down an “enemy” and killing them! Dad seems to be more objective and tolerant of the interest these games create in a young son. What is in place, however, is my opportunity as the mom to communicate with dad my concerns, when I have them, about these games, priorities, potential for distraction for our son, content, and so on. Because I have full confidence that my husband is doing his best to evaluate these “games” objectively, keeping the biblical priority areas as true priorities in our son’s life first and foremost, I can leave these areas in his hands, though he has welcomed and asked for my perspective at any time along the way.

This is how we have chosen to handle media games. Our son is still in need of parental help and oversight and we have, on occasion, removed the privilege for any number of reasons stated above. Privileges removed can only be re-won by a pattern of growth displayed in our son’s life, for the pleasure and glory of God, and not simply to get the privilege of playing the game back

We watch this area of “interest” closely in our son’s life and he knows that these games are not areas he will be allowed to venture into unaccompanied by his parents.

Thank you Janis and Valori (and your husbands!) for your wisdom and example. May their thoughts provoke all of us to consider our own guidelines for our children's "gaming" habits from a biblical perspective.