Q & A - Correcting Young Children

A mother of school age children wrote to ask: “Would you be able to provide a sample conversation that you might have with your child when they have done something wrong? There is a phrase that I often hear said, “showing them their need for a Savior.” How do you go about doing/saying that exactly?”

When our child sins—and sin they will—it’s an opportunity to teach them about the gospel. To do so, we must not simply correct them for disobeying Daddy and Mommy in the particular situation. We need to point them to their bigger problem: their inclination, and their pattern of sin against a holy God. They haven’t just disobeyed their parents. They’ve disobeyed God. This particular sin is simply another piece of evidence that they need a Savior—just like Mommy needs a Savior. But the good news, the best news, is that God has provided just such a Savior for Mommies and their children in His one and only Son, Jesus Christ. We must tell our children that if they repent from this sin, and from all other rebellion against God, and trust in Christ as their salvation, they will be forgiven from all their sin and disobedience. 

So you see that what can often begin as an unpleasant situation caused by our child’s sin can be transformed into an ideal moment to “show them their need for a Savior.”

In short, there are three essential points we are trying to communicate to our children:
1.    God – He is the Creator of the world, and because He is perfect, holy, and pure, He cannot tolerate sin (Ps. 5:4-5).
2.    Sin –All human beings are sinful from birth and our inclination is to evil all the time (Gen. 6:5, Jer. 17:9, Rom. 3:23).
3.    Cross – Because of His love, God sent Jesus Christ to earth, to live a perfect life and die in our place that we might be forgiven from our sins and reconciled to God (John 3:16, 1 Cor. 15:3-4).

How can we weave these three points into a real-life conversation? The following is one possible way. But let me issue a disclaimer: this is not a script! This is merely a sample of how a mother might apply the gospel in a situation where a child has sinned. It will sound different EVERY time and for every age group! But let’s just say, for example, that our child is disrespecful:

Mom: Do you realize that you were disrespectful towards Mommy?
Child: Yes
Mom: Do you know what the Bible has to say about what you have done?
Child: No
Mom: God says in His Word that disrespect toward parents is a sin against Him. It isn’t just breaking Mommy’s rules. It’s breaking God’s commands. But this isn’t your biggest problem. You and Mommy both have a bigger problem. Do you know what it is?
Child: No
Mom: Well, God says that if we break His law even once, we deserve death. But you and Mommy, we haven’t just broken God’s law once, have we? We’ve sinned many times. In fact, the Bible says that we were born sinful, and that because of our sin, we deserve the judgment of God. This is a big problem, isn’t it?
Child: Yes
Mom: But what do you think God did about our problem?
Child: He sent His son Jesus to die for us.
Mom: That’s right. Jesus lived a perfect life. He was never disrespectful toward His parents! But that’s not all. Jesus died on the cross. He took the punishment that we deserved for our sin. He endured God’s wrath for our sin. And then He rose again from the dead. That’s good news, isn’t it?
Child: Yes
Mom: You and Mommy both need a Savior. But God has provided a Savior! So what do you think God would want us to do?
Child: Repent
Mom: Yes, God says if we repent from our sin—not just disrespect, but all sin, He will forgive us. So would you like to pray to God and ask Him to forgive you?

In the preceding conversation, I am assuming that the child is demonstrating a humble, responsive posture to the correction and teaching. But this is not always the case with our children, is it? That is why each conversation with each child will sound different. But if we keep the main objective in our minds of showing them their need for a Savior, we can practice gospel-centered mothering.