RoutineTalk: For The Children

"The children were always put into a regular method of living, in such things as they were capable of, from their birth.” Susanna Wesley

Mom pointed out yesterday that, “Order, routine, and structure serve the mom, the marriage, and the children.” I’m going to take the last part first. As I see it, a schedule serves our children in three ways:

1.    Routine teaches self-control. Per Titus 1:8, Steve and I want our son to be self-controlled and disciplined. But he wasn’t born that way! We have to train him, and it’s not too early to start. By establishing a daily routine we are teaching him to do one thing for a pre-determined length of time. So, for example, Jack (who is three) is learning to sit at the table and color for twenty minutes until the timer goes off. He’s not ready to sit through his SAT’s yet, but by putting him on a schedule, we can teach him self-control and discipline in an age-appropriate manner.

2.    Kids Love It! They won’t tell you, but did you know that your kids want you to put them on a schedule? As one author notes:

“Children need rules and consistency in their lives. In fact, they crave them. They’ll do all sorts of crazy, naughty, out-of-control things just to get their parents to enforce some rules to curb their behavior. More rules that define their behavior and boundaries will actually produce more freedom to grow and blossom. Rules make children feel safe. They give children a defined world. They spare children from having to make adult decisions because adults have made the proper decisions for them.”

From her childhood experience, Elisabeth Elliot concurs:

“The regularity of our schedule was one of the things we depended on, and though we did not know it at the time, it gave us great security…Our little world could be counted on to stay the way it was, safe, ‘structured,’ and pretty much the same every day” (Shaping of a Christian Family, p. 77)

My own experience with Jack backs this up. He absolutely loves his schedule! He regularly rehearses out loud with me the sequence of his routine. And although he doesn’t always comply perfectly, he is excited about “what’s next!”

3.    Schedule facilitates effective discipline. That’s because the rules are clear—for mother and child. Kids know what you expect of them and when you expect it. So they also know when they’ve disobeyed and why they are being disciplined. Additionally, a regular routine can actually cut-down on (though certainly not eliminate!) discipline situations. When kids know what to anticipate, they are less likely to sinfully respond to change.

There’s a progression here. The more children learn self-control, the less they’ll disobey and require discipline, and the happier they—and mom—will be! But having made my simple case, please don’t forget: it’s just a suggestion!