RoutineTalk: For the Husband

Gone are the days of spontaneous dinners out, midnight walks around the block, and sleeping in.  For Mike and me, these are the days of dinners in, midnight feedings, and a lot less sleep.  As many of you know, little Caly burst into our world this past February. And while our daughter has brought us more joy than we ever imagined, she has also changed our lives. As a new mom, I have been baptized into the demands of motherhood.

For all of us, there can be a tendency to become consumed with being a mom. We can easily forget that our first relational priority, according to Scripture, must be our husbands. They must always be first in our heart and our care.

How is this possible with a newborn?  Granted, this can be difficult to pull off if we are rushing to hold our baby at his or her first whimper and feeding our baby whenever he or she cries. This is where the advice my mom’s first pediatrician gave to her is so helpful: “Your baby should adapt to you and not you to your baby.”    

Enter “Schedule!”  This little practice has made a huge difference as I have navigated the uncharted waters of marriage plus kiddo.  Placing Caly on a schedule has provided a measure of predictability, even though she is an unpredictable baby.  I generally know how our day will play out with naptimes and mealtimes.  This allows me to plan specific times for Mike and me to be together.  We have been able to resume our weekly date night, because I know how long I can be away from her.  When Mike comes home from work in the evening, he knows that Caly has a scheduled bedtime, which gives the two of us time to catch up from the day. Although motherhood has been my biggest life adjustment, a schedule has not only served my daughter, it’s helped me keep my husband first.

But once again, this schedule thing is just a suggestion.