RoutineTalk: Wake-Up Time

A mom wrote:

I hope that a hundred people ask you this so you answer.  How do you teach a toddler to stay in bed until 7:00?  I have been needing the answer to this question for awhile.  Please help!!

Well, you got your wish! It wasn’t quite a hundred, but several moms did write in with this question. I’m answering on Kristin’s behalf because she’s a little too busy keeping her kids on their schedule today. And please know, we don’t think we have all the answers. We’re figuring this out as we go along too. But here are some ideas that have worked for us and for people we know.

If possible, begin when your child is still in a crib (old enough to sit up on their own). Don’t get them out of bed when they first wake up, but place some books or toys in the crib the night before, after they are asleep. Determine what time you will get them up and stick to it. They might cry at first, but soon they will enjoy this morning playtime. If this habit is established early, it will be easy to maintain, even after they transition to the “big boy” or “big girl” bed.

However, if your toddler is already in a bed, take heart—it is not too late. Kristin can attest to that. First of all, make it fun! Tell them they are going to have a new “special playtime” (or give it a more creative name). Consider buying a new toy or book or two that is reserved for that time. Friends of ours have an idea I haven’t tried but really like: toddler devotional time. Their kids get a Bible story book and some kid worship music (try "Awesome God" or "Hide the Word") to read and listen to for a while.

Because toddlers have no concept of time, you could set a timer (as our mom did) for the number of minutes between when they wake up and when you’ve determined they will get up. Or, like a dad we know, you can use a light timer (which turns the light on at a pre-set time) to alert the children that it’s now OK to move about the cabin, er, I mean room. Or, you could simply train them not to get out of bed until Daddy or Mommy come to get them (as we do with Jack).

And yes, it will require training and probably even some discipline to make this work. The same dad who used the light timer had a clever idea. He stood outside the door the first time, so when his daughter got out of bed and opened the door, there was Daddy! She had no way of knowing her dad wasn’t always standing outside the door, and so she stayed in bed. I know another mom who sat outside the door, prepared to discipline whenever the child disobeyed. This requires some investment at first, but the payoff is well worth it. And actually, Kristin says that in her case, her boys were so used to being disciplined in other areas that it wasn’t that hard!

Oh, and breakfast with Daddy (if his schedule permits) is a practice both Kristin and I appreciate. Steve is teaching Jack Bible memory verses and his catechism, and I get an extra half an hour to prepare for the day. Kristin’s boys have learned to go back in their beds after breakfast and play with toys until 8:00!

Teaching your child to stay in bed serves you (the mom) so you can get a devotional time (and maybe even a shower!). It ensures your husband gets enough rest, and your attention in the morning. And it serves the children. By teaching them to rise at a certain time and to enjoy playing by themselves, you can help them form disciplined habits to last a lifetime.

But teaching your kid to stay in bed? Take it or leave it. ‘Cause it’s just a suggestion.