Several weeks before each of her daughters got married, Mom took us away for a mother-daughter overnight. She wanted to have one final conversation before giving us away to our husbands.
Her counsel was simple: give yourself freely, passionately, completely to your husband.
The essence of our conversation is included in Mom’s book, Feminine Appeal:
“Marital sex is the pinnacle of human bonding. It is the highest form of the communication of love—a language that expresses love without words. It calls for the deepest, most powerful emotions. It creates intimacy within marriage like nothing else. In fact, as we give and receive the gift of lovemaking, this intimacy will grow stronger and more precious as the years go by. Each encounter will lead us to a deeper ‘knowing’ of the one we love.”
Sex “creates intimacy like nothing else.” All the shared joys and trials, all the deep and meaningful communication, certainly contribute to marital intimacy, but no experience can match the deep, inexplicable closeness that comes from a loving physical union within the confines of marriage.
“It’s a mystery,” I remember Mom saying. And so it is. This intimacy, this “knowing” that results from the physical relationship is beyond my ability to describe in words (although Solomon do so eloquently in his Song).
What I do know is that while I share fellowship and labors, joys and trials with many others, sex is something I share only with my husband. It’s our own little world, closed to all. Not even the dearest friend or family member can enter. We are on a journey, the two of us. An exclusive journey. A journey of love. We are creating memories known only to us. Secrets only we share.
The further we go on this journey, the bond between us grows more powerful and intense. The “knowing” grows deeper. The love grows sweeter.
Ten years after that conversation, I have to say—Mom, you were right.