Friday Funnies

Friday Funnies

2009 at 11:40 am   |   by Nicole Whitacre
Filed under Fun Stuff Friday Funnies

Here's another hilarious wedding story for you, from Cara (well, two stories, actually):

My husband is a pastor, and as you know pastor's do lots of wedding ceremonies.  The first wedding my husband did was going smoothly up until asking for the rings.  The Best man and the Maid of honor carefully handed him the rings which he then placed on his opened Bible.  He spoke a few words about the rings and then the rings fell of his Bible and rolled under the bride's dress.  Brian stood there not sure if it were appropriate for him to "go in" after them or wait for somebody to get them.  Meanwhile, we all got a good chuckle.  Not to long after that wedding he had another one to do.  Not learning from his first mistake he took the rings placed them on his Bible and proceeded to have them also roll off his Bible causing the wedding party to frantically search for them which were once again under the bride's dress.  Since then Brian has stopped trying to lay them on the bible and just holds them in his hand--6 years later he has yet to drop another set of rings.  But I do enjoy reminding him about it every chance I get!

Have a great weekend friends!
Nicole for Carolyn, Kristin, and Janelle

 

A Wedding Story (3)

2009 at 1:35 pm   |   by Janelle Bradshaw
Filed under Fun Stuff Friday Funnies

Bonni sent along this really cute wedding story:

 

I was flower girl at the age of 2 for my sister about 25 years ago and so the story goes...
I was ready to walk down the aisle because my parents gave me a little incentive. If I walked down the aisle, I received a strawberry shortcake doll. Enough said, I was going to walk down that aisle. However,the ring bearer apparently didn't have such a great incentive because he started screaming that he didn't want to walk down,so they decided we couldn't walk because he was too scared. Then my father was walking my sister down the aisle and I decided I wasn't going to let this ring bearer stop me from getting my doll, so I walked down behind the bride and my father! My sister and father had no idea I was there until they stopped and I bumped into them. Well, everyone got a good laugh and I got my doll!

A Wedding Story

2009 at 2:49 pm   |   by Nicole Whitacre
Filed under Fun Stuff Friday Funnies

Our second winner of the "Crazy Wedding Story" contest is Sarah. This is one of the most memorable wedding stories we've ever heard! (Send us your address and book choice, Sarah!)

My Husband, Matt, and I planned on getting married in our Church in Lodi, Ca on May 11th of 2007. In Northern California, May is a beautiful time to get married, and boy were we excited! We had a guest list of about 250 people. We absolutely could not wait!

After a 10 month engagement (10 months is too long!!), the day was fast approaching. I scrambled to finish all of the last-minute details. I had spent hours, and hours on a slide-show that went through our childhood years, and through our engagement. I had procrastinated a bit, and the night before was trying desperately to burn it to DVD.... When suddenly my computer crashed. I freaked out, and started call every friend I had that knew anything about computers. Sadly, my slide-show was lost forever, and my hard drive fried.

That night I couldn't sleep, and was feeling sick. Friends told me that I had "Wedding Jitters". I figured they were right. I got up the morning of our wedding, and crawled to the bathroom. I was running a 103 degree temperature, and was throwing up. This was not the wedding morning I had had pictured. My bridesmaids and I planned on getting our hair done in Sacramento (a 45 minute drive from our town) and having dinner at The Cheesecake Factory before our 7:30pm wedding. So I stayed in bed as long as I could, drinking tea, and praying.

I was finally feeling better, and met my Bridesmaids at the church. We drove to Sacramento. I still felt sick, but thought I would be ok. So we got to the hair salon in Downtown Sacramento, and everything is going well, and my bridesmaids were looking beautiful, minus one that was running late. That's when I noticed a large group of people around the building next door, followed by about 20 police cars. One of the women from the salon went over to ask what was going on. We just happened to be next to a federal building that had received a suspicious package. The entire block was shut down, and they weren't allowing people to leave--or to come in, as my late bridesmaid found out the hard way.

I panic, and start to feel sick again. I remember thinking "This can not be happening!". I called my Fiance, and told him what was happening. He turned on the news, and the story was on every local channel. I knew then that this was a big deal. After spending hours trapped in the salon, panicking, and getting sick, I went outside to talk to a police officer. we had about 2 1/2 hours until our wedding, and were 45 minutes away from the church, and my bridesmaids were starving. So as I started to talk, my voice started cracking, and before I knew it I was bawling to this police officer that I was going to miss my wedding. He ever-so-graciously made a few calls, and had my bridal party and I escorted out. Praise God! Though I did feel like quite a "Bridezilla" after my little melt-down!

We stop and my bridesmaids grab a quick bite to eat, and head back to the church to get ready. As we're driving back, I get a call from my Fiance. "Um, I'm at the barber, and my car won't start". Thank goodness one of his Groomsmen just happened to be a few blocks away, and jump started his car... whew!

The wedding was beautiful. Everything I dreamed of, and our Pastor joked about "the wedding that almost never came to be" (referring to the bomb scare), and everyone had a nice laugh. We stayed at the church to finish our pictures, and were the last ones to leave. We were driving to the reception in my Father-in-law's 1977 Corvette. We got in and it wouldn't start. Matt and I couldn't help but laugh! It had been a crazy day... We tried calling everyone, but they had turned their cell phones off for the wedding. Finally, one of our attendants called us, and asked where we were. They came and picked us up... we were an hour late to our own reception!

The reception was lovely. A dessert bar, with chocolate fountain. I was still feeling sick, and so I didn't get to eat anything, but I was ok with that! We left the reception, and got to the nicest hotel in Lodi, which was a gift from my in-laws. There had been a mix-up, and they didn't have a room for us. The hotel worked it out, and after two hours of waiting(!), we were in our room, and we were both starving to death. We drove to Jack In The Box, got food, and headed back to the hotel. We ate, and fell asleep... ha ha. Definitely not what we had imagined! I made a visit to the ER before we left for our Honeymoon, and it turned out I had a double ear infection...

It's been two years, and we laugh about the day all the time! I must say, it took me a while to be able to laugh... We're just glad to be married, and couldn't be happier! Although one day I would like to renew my vows, on a beach, and far away from any government buildings.

Friday Funnies

2009 at 12:35 pm   |   by Janelle Bradshaw
Filed under Fun Stuff Friday Funnies

Y'all are amazing! We received tons of entries for our funniest wedding story contest. It was a hard job, but we’ve narrowed it down to ten winners, and we’ll post their stories over the next few weeks. As promised, our winners will receive the book of their choice from our books and audio page. So if you see your entry posted, contact us with your address and book choice and we will send you your goods asap. Congrats to our first winner, Katie.

My husband, Greg, is a musician and often plays the organ for weddings. Over the years he has learned to be ready for anything at weddings. His mom and I still chuckle over what happened at Cassandra's wedding.

Cassandra, Greg, and I all grew up together. At one time Greg and Cassandra liked each other. As the years went on, the Lord brought Greg and I together and gave Cassandra a wonderful husband. At Cassandra's wedding, Greg was the organist for the ceremony, and one of the groomsmen was supposed to play a piano postlude while the audience was dismissed. Greg played the recessional, but no one came up to relieve him. Silence would have been terribly awkward, so he decided to play a few hymns "off the cuff." Unfortunately, what he chose to play was "I'd Rather Have Jesus."

Friday Funnies

2009 at 9:00 am   |   by Janelle Bradshaw
Filed under Fun Stuff Friday Funnies

Your wedding stories are hilarious! Keep 'em comin'! We'll post the first winner next Friday.

My friend Charlene sent along today's Friday Funny. I have to say it hits a little close to home. Kinda reminds me of how it sounds when my sisters and I are in the same room.

Happy weekend,
Janelle for my mom and sisters

"Women, whose lives are harder, need jokes more than men and make them more often." Paul Johnson

 

Friday Funnies

2009 at 11:51 am   |   by Nicole Whitacre
Filed under Fun Stuff Friday Funnies

A Friday Funny from the home front today....

Recently we bought some Bible stories dramatized on cd. My six-year-old son Jack was listening to them by the hour and I was thrilled. This morning, however, I began to think maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all.

Jack was bored and when he's bored he can easily slip into complaining; so, to keep him busy, I told him to go water the flowers for me. A few minutes later I came by to encourage him. He looked up and said (in his woe-is-me voice): "Mom, "Pharoah made the people work hard and why are you making me work hard like that?"

Speaking of hard work, I think we've got a lot of that ahead of us to train this boy! But my husband's up for the challenge: "If he's going to play that game" Steve told me, "Then let's read to him what God did to the Israelites when they started complaining."

Hmmm....I'm sensing a detour in tomorrow morning's Bible time with Daddy.

Have a great weekend,

Nicole for my mom and sisters

"Women, whose lives are harder, need jokes more than men and make them more often." Paul Johnson

Friday Funnies

2009 at 1:36 pm   |   by Nicole Whitacre
Filed under Fun Stuff Friday Funnies

The Friday Funnies have always amused us. I don’t mean the jokes (although they have made us laugh too), but the fact that the Friday Funnies are a fixture on our site about biblical womanhood.

We never expected to become a clearing-house for every cute kid story and clean youtube video, email forward and blonde joke. I mean, don’t get me wrong, we’re happy to do it, but it wasn’t part of the original girltalk master plan. Oh, wait, that’s right, there wasn’t a master plan. Nevermind.

Anyways, as I was saying, the Friday Funnies just kind of happened. We ran a contest for cute kids stories, but long after the contest was over, the funnies kept rolling in. And they’re still coming. For four years now, we’ve signed off every Friday with one of your jokes.

Well, recently I discovered why the Friday Funnies belong on a site devoted to biblical womanhood, and are, in fact, a strategic and vital part of our efforts to encourage women. (Generally, I recommend you figure out why you are doing something before you do it every week for four years; but in this case, it turned out we were on the right track all along.)

So today, instead of a Friday Funny, we want to share the profound purpose for the Friday Funnies. It comes from scholar and historian Paul Johnson, in his book, Creators:

"One of the most important [forms of creativity] is to make people laugh. We live in a vale of tears, which begins with the crying of a babe and does not become any less doleful as we age. Humor, which lifts our spirits for a spell, is one of the most valuable of human solaces, and the gift of inciting it rare and inestimable. Whoever makes a new joke, which circulates, translates, globalizes itself, and lives on through generations, perhaps millennia, is a creative genius, and a benefactor of humankind almost without compare."

To be fair, I’m not sure Dr. Johnson had bad women drivers or confusing grocery lists in mind when he wrote this, but he’s right about one thing: every Friday your funnies lift our spirits for a spell.

What’s more, as Dr. Johnson goes on to explain (and here’s the kicker!): “[W]omen, whose lives are harder, need jokes more than men and make them more often."

Our lives are harder (and pity the poor man who tries to tell us otherwise!), so we need jokes more than men and make them more often—every Friday, in fact.

Happy Friday, everyone,
Nicole
for Carolyn, Kristin, and Janelle

Friday Funnies

2009 at 9:53 pm   |   by Janelle Bradshaw
Filed under Fun Stuff Friday Funnies I just can't get enough of cute kids singing. So here's another for you to enjoy. Thanks to Laura for passing it along.

Enjoy your Memorial Day weekend!
Janelle for the girls

Friday Funnies

2009 at 10:52 pm   |   by Janelle Bradshaw
Filed under Fun Stuff Friday Funnies

Thanks to Erin for sending this video our way. You have to watch until the end for my favorite line. This little girly is too cute.

Enjoy your weekend!
Janelle for Mom, Nicole and Kristin

Friday Funnies

2009 at 11:35 pm   |   by Janelle Bradshaw
Filed under Fun Stuff Friday Funnies

My mom's friend Irene sent this one to her. We may have posted it before, but I thought it went well with my visit to the bank today. I gave my Caly-girl a scare when I had a little run-in with the curb. Probably the banks fault.

Happy weekend!
Janelle for the girltalkers

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'

*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and Withdraw
 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth.!!!!

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9 Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27.  Release Parking Brake.

Friday Funnies

2009 at 9:40 pm   |   by Janelle Bradshaw
Filed under Fun Stuff Friday Funnies

Thanks to Dana for this little story! The girltalkers will be back Monday.

Janelle

Friday Funnies

2009 at 8:57 pm   |   by Janelle Bradshaw
Filed under Fun Stuff Friday Funnies

Elisabeth from Nicole's church in Fairfax found this picture on her way to the library. Elisabeth, thanks for stopping to get the pic. I can't stop laughing.

Make sure you look closely to see the "4" in the middle of the sign.

Until Monday,
Janelle for Mom, Nic and Kess

Friday Funnies

2009 at 2:55 pm   |   by Janelle Bradshaw
Filed under Fun Stuff Friday Funnies

Our friend Julie sent this one to my mom. Random fact: Sarasota, the town in which the story takes place, is were my mom grew up. Enjoy!

Happy Friday,
Janelle for the girltalkers

Friday Funnies

2009 at 9:57 pm   |   by Janelle Bradshaw
Filed under Fun Stuff Friday Funnies

At dinner with friends the other night we watched this Tim Hawkins song which my friend Rakel said was just for me. She was right!

Happy weekend!
Janelle for my mom and sisters

Friday Funnies

2009 at 4:11 pm   |   by Janelle Bradshaw
Filed under Fun Stuff Friday Funnies

After my little adventure last week, my friend Elise sent me an e-mail with her own story that made me feel a little better. I'm not the only one after all. Thanks, Elise!