girltalk Blog

Why My Grandma Was Great

I was twenty-one years old and still living at home when my mom had hip surgery. Grandma came to stay and help out for a week or so. Of course my dad, my sisters, and me were perfectly capable of taking care of Mom. But serving her family was what Grandma did. So she came and cooked us meals and chatted with Mom and folded the laundry.

After about four or five days I began to feel a little impatient with Grandma.

You see, I was one of those idealistic, sometimes arrogant, often annoying, young women who had all kinds of dreams and ambitions to do great things for God but had no clue about what that actually meant. I was headed for the mission field (because missionary life is exciting, right?). I was going to teach women. I was going to write books. I was going to change the world for God.

I loved my grandma. She was sweet and kind. But she didn’t seem to have a vision beyond the boundaries God had set for her. She certainly didn’t “dream big.”

Grandma was, in my not-so-humble opinion, overly attentive to the cost per pound of pot roast or how much laundry detergent we had left. She got excited by the blue jay in the backyard. She clucked and fussed when one of her grandchildren got a slight temperature.

And this annoyed me. I didn’t have time to enter into these simple joys or concerns. I had bigger, deeper, things to think about. I quickly grew tired of her conversation, uninterested in her world. It seemed small to me.

A decade and a half later, I understand that it was my world that was small, my ambitions that were misguided.

Today I see that my Grandma’s delight in God’s creation, her diligent seeking of God through His Word and prayer, her faithful service to the Savior in her allotted sphere of influence—these things are the very definition of greatness. As Zach Eswine writes, “Every moment of obscure service makes the hall of fame in heaven.” It was Jesus, himself, who set the standard: “The greatest among you shall be your servant” (Mt. 23:11).

And being a servant often means paying attention to the price of pot roast.

So while I dreamed my dreams of doing “great” things for God, I was, in fact, in the presence of true greatness. I know that now. And while I still long, more than ever, to do great things for him, I define “great” differently. I define it like Grandma.

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5 O’ Clock Club Membership Guidelines

It’s been so exciting to have so many of you join us for the 5 O’Clock Club! I especially love it when you post a picture or a verse you read that morning. It’s great to have friends all over the world waking up early, and I love that everyone’s goal is different. As we’ve said all along, the 5 O’Clock Club is not about waking up at 5:00 a.m. but about rising early to meet with God and care for your family. So if that is 7:30 a.m., great!

Whether you feel like you are making progress in establishing a daily habit or struggling to wake up early, we thought it might be helpful to post a few quick tips about the club:

1. Get enough sleep

Several people have asked how early we go to bed at night. This varies, depending on the person, day, etc. but typically each of us are in bed or asleep between 9:30 and 10:00 p.m. Sometimes earlier, sometimes later. The point is, to get up early you have to go to bed early the night before. For me, I can sometimes manage to stay up late one or two nights a week and still get up early, but more than two late nights and I am seriously tired and seriously grumpy! And experiment with naps. If I get a 20 minute power nap (or two!) each day, it helps a lot.

2. Don’t get discouraged

If you keep trying and failing, keep trying. That’s how the alarm clock outside our kid’s rooms idea came up. My husband and I were frustrated because we kept oversleeping, so we decided to take more drastic action. But I know many of you still have babies waking up at night or getting sick. After nights like this, I always sleep in, guilt-free! Just try again when your child gets better or set a more realistic goal. But seeking God is worth it, so don’t give up.

3. It gets easier

It often takes several weeks of consistently waking up at a new time before your body starts to adjust. And it helps to remember this. Just give it time. Keep pushing through. This doesn’t mean you won’t ever stop feeling like pressing snooze, but after a time, you will find yourself more alert and awake in the early hours of the morning.

That’s all for now. More testimonies and Q&A in our blog archives.

See you in the morning!

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Early Morning Memories [Archives]

~Found this one in the archives the other day. From a grown up daughter of a mom who rose early to seek God. Hope it encourages all of you in the 5 O’Clock Club!

For almost thirty years now, my dear friend Nancy has inspired me by her passionate, faithful, practice of meeting with God each morning. So I wasn’t surprised when, last week, her daughter Anna sent us this testimony to encourage moms with young kids.

I keep seeing these posts with emails of moms of young children who are hoping that their children see their example of rising early to seek the Lord in his word—I want to say, keep it up, your example really can be pressed onto the hearts of your children.

I cannot remember a time when I didn’t get up every morning and find my mom reading her Bible, praying. Not only did I see the habit, but I also remember that she was always filled with joy when she was done. Some of my earliest memories was getting up before all my siblings (I was an early riser when I was really little…it’s a little harder now!) and my mom making an extra cup of tea for me, and playing on the floor while she read her Bible. (I was a talker, so she also had to train me that Bible time was No Talking time)

One of the biggest ways that I was motivated to read my Bible was seeing this example—and my mom always encouraging me that it was a friendship, a delight, and not a task. Because of this, I had an interest to know Jesus through his word at a young age. I have journals of consistent reading and prayer from age 10 on. I cannot tell you, now as an (semi-)adult, how much of a blessing this has been. It has given me a history of love for God’s word and a confidence in prayer. It has taught me the habit, and the value for God’s word. So, if you are seeking to set this example, don’t give up! You might not see fruit now, but Jesus has promised that we will reap (Gal 6:9).

Your example makes a difference—but if you feel like you have failed as an example, take heart. If you have fears for your children’s souls, fears that they will not come to be satisfied in Jesus, let your heart take courage. Remember the promises of our Lord:

“I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten” (Joel 2:25) and “The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad. Restore our fortunes, O Lord, like streams in the Negeb! Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.” (Psalm 126:3-6)

Moms: May the faithfulness of God strengthen you as you strive to faithfully seek Him. I pray that the little ones who watch you sit at Jesus’ feet will one day seek Him too!

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Not Too Late: Join the 5 O’Clock Club FB Page

In case you missed it, at the end of last week we launched a new 5 O’ Clock club Facebook page. A simple page with a simple goal: to help encourage women to rise early to meet with God and serve their families. We’ve been having such fun (yes, fun!) reading comments from different ones of you as you seek to grow in this area, especially the different verses from God’s Word. And we love to see the diversity of times that women have set as goals—all with the same great purpose.

So if you haven’t already, grab a friend and join (or rejoin!) our little club. Its not too late to make the New Year’s resolution that can make your other resolutions possible. Here are a few testimonies from club members to encourage those of you on the fence.

~Kat~

As I write, I am wrapping up my morning meeting with the Lord. In ten minutes, the oldest of my 3 small children will come bounding into the office where I have been studying and praying. Like many others that have written to you, I enjoy the warm comforts of my bed and do not enjoy getting out of it! A few weeks ago I clicked onto your blog and as I began to read the stories of women rising early and carving out that time in their day, it made me cry. I struggle with finding time to study and pray—for years my husband has been gently encouraging me to wake up early to do this, but for some reason I couldn’t do it until I saw the stories of other mothers that were doing it. Not only is it such a blessing throughout my day to have my eyes and heart fixed on Christ from the start, it is such a blessing for my five year old son to sneak up behind me each morning and see an open Bible on my lap; he usually pulls down his illustrated Bible and cuddles up with me for a few minutes. My prayer is that he would remember these times throughout his life and make it a tradition of his own! I am prone to inconsistency, so even as I write, I am praying that this will become a lifelong habit. Thank you for sharing your club and for encouraging a even a sleepy sinner like me study and pray when I would usually be in bed!

~Holly~

I wanted to share with you how joining the 5 O’clock Club has benefited both me and my husband. I recently joined in order to provide myself some accountability in getting up earlier to have some quality time with the Lord. Both my husband and I read our Bibles and pray, but the birth of our son this past year and new jobs have led to our schedules being turned upside down. The Lord has not always had the priority or quality time that He has deserved. So, now I have consistently been getting up earlier these past few days to read and pray in the living room. After a day or two of doing this, my husband (unknown to me) got up right after me and started spending this time praying in our bedroom. He later mentioned to me, “You should email that girltalk blog and tell them that your getting up early to have devotions has encouraged me to get up early and pray.” He teasingly added that he couldn’t have his wife taking the spiritual leadership in the family! My husband most definitely is my spiritual leader, and he shepherds me very well. However, I am thankful that we both now have an organized, planned, deliberate, and personal time with the Lord each day!

~Marcia~

And of all the wisdom shared in Feminine Appeal, one of the single greatest practical influences it has had on me is this habit of rising early, and seeing the value and joy of doing so. Rhythms of life, with now three young children, keep changing, but this single element of my life holds like an anchor and is precious to me. It is not the habit itself that is inherently precious, but the communion with Christ that it has enabled for me and in me. Rising early is no guarantee that I will have sweet communion with Christ. But, practically speaking, rising early is the greatest guarantee that I will have time in the day for communion with Christ. And by His Grace, rising early has been a tool leading directly to that end, and thus of invaluable worth. Thank you for your continual encouragement. I smile to look over the long list of fellow women in the 5 O’Clock club. Kindred Spirits. All praise to Christ.

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That Crazy 5 O’Clock Club (Again)

Last night, before trudging upstairs to our loft bedroom, my husband and I placed an old fashioned alarm clock, set for 5 o’clock a.m., in the narrow hallway between our children’s bedroom doors. Then we set our phone alarms for just a few minutes earlier. If we failed to wake up to our phones, we would risk waking up our four energetic children at 5am. Talk about motivation to get out of bed in the morning. It worked.

Why in the world would we do that? Are we crazy? Maybe, but not in this case. Waking up early is the most important New Year’s resolution I have ever made or will keep making. It is the resolution that makes all my other resolutions possible. So whenever I slack off for a time, which often happens over the holidays, I resolve to rejoin The 5 O’ Clock Club.

By getting up early, I can make the most important things most important. And that means communion with God comes first:

“I earnestly recommend that [Bible reading and prayer] be in the early morning, unless there are some extenuating circumstances,” writes John Piper, “Entering the day without a serious meeting with God, over his Word and in prayer, is like entering the battle without tending to your weapons. The human heart does not replenish itself with sleep. The body does, but not the heart. We replenish our hearts not with sleep, but with the Word of God and prayer.”

Oh, does my heart desperately need replenishing every day.

The 5 O’Clock Club also serves my family. Trust me, the day gets off to a much better start when Mom has had a quiet time, made necessary preparations for the day, and maybe even taken a shower, than when I am groggy and grumpy, groping for the coffee pot as a try to field twenty questions at once. That’s just reality, folks.

Now trust me, I’ve opted out or slacked off countless times, especially when I’ve had babies or newly adopted children come into the home. A solid night sleep is essential to successfully rising early and I don’t suggest this to make anyone feel discouraged or condemned. But if you can get up early right now (even if you don’t think you’re a morning person!), consider this a friendly challenge. Just imagine what you’d get done in a day—in a year!—if you woke up half an hour earlier than you already do.

I know it might be January 2nd , but it is not too late to start. Do something crazy in 2013. Join The 5 O’Clock Club.

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How To Keep Going Through Pain

Sinclair Ferguson offers some wise advice in his comments on Psalm 55 in his book Deserted by God:

“Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan, and he hears my voice.” (Psalm 55:17 ESV)

“When we are overwhelmed by our circumstances, our whole life tends to become disordered. This is one of the obvious signs that a person can no longer cope. But we do not always make the connection we should between these basic rhythms in our lives and our personal stability. David kept fixed points in his life. When everything else seemed to collapse, a basic strict was still left, and therefore recovery and rebuilding were still possible.

Remember that, when things overwhelm you and you want to flee. Keep up your basic disciplines and duties. They may seem pointless, like bones without flesh; you may lack the emotional energy to enjoy them or even do them with vigor. You may no longer have a taste for them. But you must not let them collapse. If you do, your defenses will be broken down, and rebuilding will become almost impossible.

It is too late to think about this when we feel overwhelmed. We cannot start to build foundations in the middle of a storm; it is too late. Make sure you have begun to build these basic disciplines now. David had obviously done that. He had built strong foundations. When the storm came, of course his instinct was to flee; but, as we shall see, that was not his actual response.”

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The Online Mom

Before we get to some more specific thoughts on gospel-centered parenting, we want to talk about a few sources of discouragement for moms. Unruly children aren’t the only cause for despair; a big source of temptation can also come from comparison with other moms.

Meagan sent is this insightful comment about Janelle’s post:

It was nice to be assured that some one else has children who throw themselves on the floor and cry as if the world is ending when they don’t get their way and that I’m not the only one who doesn’t get around to gourmet meals every night. So often all people post about or share are the great, creative things they do. Like gourmet meals and hand sewn clothes and perfectly dressed kids. And all the status updates are about the latest adorable thing their child has done. (No one posts about the latest tantrum their kid has thrown.) And please understand, I’m sure I am guilty of the very things I am complaining about!  But one can walk away from all of these posts/updates thinking that everyone else has there act together and this is what it must look like to be a “good” mom and wife. And when one doesn’t measure up to these standards one’s heart can be sorely discouraged and guilt laden.

As one pastor recently quoted Will Farrell (not someone we ever thought we would be quoting here on girltalk!): “May your life one day be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.”

Now I don’t think most of us mean to “pretend” or even to be fake. But this raises an interesting point—both about what we as mothers post and how we interpret what others post on social media.

In our recent series, The Connected Heart, we noted that there are endless ways that we as mothers can benefit from social media and the Internet. But we must also be alert to the fact that it expands the sources of temptation as well.

When I was raising my children there were only my friends and neighbors with whom I was tempted to compare my mothering. Today, with Facebook, Pinterest and the like, we measure ourselves against countless women every day—many of whom we do not know and whose “real” lives are mostly hidden from view.

So while we can glean many creative and useful mothering tips online, we can also be tempted to measure ourselves against a virtual standard of motherhood: a perfect, composite mother who doesn’t, in fact, really exist at all.

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Conclusion: Our Connected Heart

So how did your Less for More challenge go? It’s been great to hear how you have benefited from less social media and more time in God’s Word. I know for me, the discipline of reading Scripture before Twitter or Facebook is a habit I want to keep, and I also plan to set aside regular times to re-evaluate my Internet use in light of God’s Word.

We began our “Connected Heart” series with the question:  are my online habits dictated, directed, and in line with the Word of God? And while there is much more we could say, its time to bring this series to a close. We’ve compiled all the posts into one downloadable pdf, making it easy for you to read, print, and share with others.  Feel free to make copies for friends or a small group study.

Our hope is that this humble collection of posts will encourage prayer, thoughtfulness, and fellowship about God’s Word and our online habits.

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The Best Subject of All Our [Online] Conversation

“f you are in company, let your time be spent in that conversation that profiteth: let it not be about your dressing, your plays, your profits, or your worldly concerns, but let it be the wonders of redeeming love. O tell, tell to each other what great things the Lord has done for your souls; declare unto one another how you were delivered from the hands of your common enemy, Satan, and how the Lord has brought your feet from the clay and has set them upon the rock of ages, the Lord Jesus Christ; there, my brethren, is no slipping. Other conversation, by often repeating, you become fully acquainted with, but of Christ there is always something new to raise your thoughts; you can never want when the love of the Lord Jesus Christ is the subject. So let Jesus be the subject, my brethren, of all your conversation.” George Whitfield in O Come Thou Long Expected Jesus p 13