Suffering

“Be Still My Soul”

The other day I was speaking with a friend about suffering. She told me that she still doesn’t understand why God allowed her dad to die so soon, but what helps her, what she goes back to in times of doubt, is that God is good. This is the truth she rests in.
 
And this is the truth that has always sustained Christians in difficult circumstances, including Nancy Guthrie, who has edited a new series of “25 classic and contemporary readings on the problem of pain” entitled, Be Still My Soul.
 
This book includes thoughts from great theologians who have walked through dark valleys, such as Charles Spurgeon, Jonathan Edwards, Jerry Bridges and Sinclair Ferguson; and women such as Corrie Ten Boom and Joni Eareckson Tada share what God has taught them through suffering.
 
In one chapter, Os Guiness describes the foundation of our trust in God:

“Christians do not say, ‘I do not understand you at all, but I trust you anyway.’ Rather, we say, ‘I do not understand you in this situation, but I understand why I trust you anyway. Therefore I can trust that you understand even though I don’t.’

If we do not know why we trust God in the beginning, then we will always need to know exactly what God is doing in order to trust him. Failing to grasp that, we may not be able to continue trusting him, for anything we do not understand may count decisively against what we are able to trust.

If, on the other hand, we do know why we trust God, we will be able to trust him in situations where we do not understand what he is doing….Faith does not know why in terms of the immediate, but it knows why it trusts God who knows why in terms of the ultimate.”

Why can we trust God even when we don’t understand the situation? Because Jesus “took on himself the full desolation of God’s silence so that after suffering in our place he might restore us to his Father, that then we might be sure that God is there and God is good.”
 
Whatever trial you are facing today, or will face in the future, may the truth of God’s goodness through Jesus Christ be your rest.

Why Not “Why?”

When we suffer, our first question is often “Why?”
 
Why me? Why this? Why now?
 
These are the questions Karen Sunday wanted to ask when she was recently diagnosed with cancer. But her husband, pastor David Sunday, encouraged her to ask some different questions:
 
Who are you, Lord?
 
What do you want to teach us about Yourself?
 
and,
 
How do you want to use us for Your glory?
 
Read about this pastor’s loving counsel to his wife in the midst of severe suffering. And please pray for this godly couple.
 
May God give us all grace to ask these God-glorifying questions.
 
The Right and Wrong Questions to Ask When You Get Cancer
 
On Suffering and Asking Who, What, and Where—Not Necessarily Why

“See here the wisdom of God…”

Last week I sent these two quotes to someone who is going through a trial. My husband used them in a sermon a few months ago and they continue to encourage my soul. Whatever your "need of the soul" is today, i pray that pondering the truth of who God is and how He works will strengthen your faith:

“Faith in a person involves not merely the conviction that the person trusted is able to save, but also the conviction that he is able and willing to save us… if we are to trust Jesus, we must come to Him personally and individually with some need of the soul which he alone can relieve.”  J. Gresham Machen
 
“See here the wisdom of God, who can make the worst things imaginable turn to the good of the saints…  God works strangely.  He brings order out of confusion, harmony out of discord…  God often helps when there is least hope, and saves His people in that way which they think will destroy…  God’s ways are ‘past finding out’ (Rom. 11:33).  They are rather to be admired than fathomed.”  Thomas Watson

Pray for Haiti

In lieu of the Friday Funnies, we want to encourage you to seize these few moments to continue to pray for the suffering people of Haiti. As Dr. Al Mohler has so movingly written:

"The earthquake reminds us that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the only real message of hope. The cross of Christ declares that Jesus loves Haiti -- and the Haitian people are the objects of his love. Christ would have us show the Haitian nation his love, and share his Gospel. In the midst of this unspeakable tragedy, Christ would have us rush to aid the suffering people of Haiti, and rush to tell the Haitian people of his love, his cross, and salvation in his name alone. Everything about the tragedy in Haiti points to our need for redemption. This tragedy may lead to a new openness to the Gospel among the Haitian people. That will be to the glory of God. In the meantime, Christ's people must do everything we can to alleviate the suffering, bind up the wounded, and comfort the grieving"

If you would still like to contribute to Sovereign Grace Ministry's Disaster Relief Fund, you can do so here.

Help for Haiti

As a teenager, I visited Haiti twice on short-term mission trips. Seeing firsthand the severe poverty in that country had a profound impact on my young life. But it is impossible for me to imagine the suffering that so many are experiencing after this devastating earthquake. We want to encourage all of you to join us in praying for the people of Haiti, and especially that the gospel would go forward in the midst of this tragedy.
 
Sovereign Grace Ministries is able to provide aid through contacts in Haiti and the Dominican Republic and they have set up a Disaster Relief fund to which you can contribute. Here is more information:

 
Friends,



In response to the devastating earthquake that occurred in Haiti on Tuesday, Sovereign Grace Ministries has opened a Disaster Relief fund to help deliver food, medicine, and other needed aid there. We will distribute the funds we raise primarily through existing ministry contacts we have on the island—both in Haiti and the Dominican Republic—who are already involved in relief efforts. 

If you want to join us in our support of these efforts, you can donate to the Disaster Relief fund on our website or by calling 800.736.2202. On behalf of our friends in Haiti, thank you for considering this opportunity to give. Regardless of your ability to make a donation, please join us in praying that those affected by the earthquake would receive aid quickly, and that despite these hardships the gospel would continue to go forward in that nation.



With appreciation,



Patrick Ennis

Executive Director

Rachel Barkey

A friend of the family let us know that Rachel Barkey passed away yesterday morning. Please pray for her husband, Neil, and their two children and their extended families. If you have not yet watched Rachel’s video testimony of her battle with terminal cancer, we would strongly urge you to do so today.

We rejoice that Rachel is now in glory, free from pain and worshipping our Savior. For us here at girltalk, and we know, for many of you as well, she will always be a profound example of steadfast faith in Jesus Christ.

“Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.” Psalm 116:15

Comfort for the Downcast

I know many people who are suffering this Christmas. Their trials weigh upon my heart as I cut fresh holly for the mantle and bake cookies with the kids. All the Christmas gaiety—“Have a happy jolly Christmas, the best time of the year…”—feels as out of place as a circus act at a funeral home.

For Christians though, Christmas is never out of place. Sure, the trappings of the holiday may be more painful than pleasant some years. But Christmas for the Christian can be a welcome reminder of our certain hope, a celebration of promises kept by God.

In Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus: Experiencing the Peace and Promise of Christmas, compiled by Nancy Guthrie, Martyn Lloyd-Jones explains:

“What God did when he sent his Son into the world is an absolute guarantee that he will do everything he has ever promised to do. Look at it in a personal sense: “All things work together for good to them that love God”—that is a promise—“to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Rom 8:28, KJV). “But how can I know that is true for me?” asks someone. The answer is the incarnation. God has given the final proof that all his promises are sure, that he is faithful to everything he has ever said. So that promise is sure for you. Whatever your state or condition may be, whatever may happen to you, he has said, “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” (Heb. 13:5, KJV)—and he will not. He has said so, and we have absolute proof that he fulfills his promises. He does not always do it immediately in the way that we think. No, no! But he does it! And he will never fail to do it.”

Whatever your state or condition this Christmas, whatever your future may hold, God’s promises are certain. He kept His promise to send His Son and He will keep His promises to you—to be with you in trial and to deliver you. When Christmas reminds us that God keeps His promises it truly can be “the best time of the year.”

“Sing for joy, O heavens, and exult, O earth; break forth, O mountains, into singing! For the Lord has comforted his people and will have compassion on his afflicted” (Isaiah 49:15).

9/11 and the Sovereignty of God

On his blog today CJ recalls where we were on the morning of 9/11:

September 11, 2001 was, for me, memorable. It marked the first morning of a very special trip with my wife to the quaint town of Chatham on Cape Cod. Carolyn and I had just finished breakfast at the Wayside Inn and were eager to begin this relaxing and romantic day together. And the day could not have been more inviting.

But while preparing to pay for breakfast, I noticed a gathering of people in the adjoining bar area, studying a television screen. Curious, I took a place among them and learned what they already knew: Two jet airplanes had crashed into the World Trade Center towers, both the apparent attacks of terrorists.

We made our way back to our hotel room stunned and perplexed by the images we had briefly viewed. Just yesterday we had flown into Logan International Airport in Boston, now the airport of origin for the two flights that slammed into the towers.

What about you? he goes on to ask:

Do you remember what you were thinking and feeling as you watched horrific replay after horrific replay of the commercial jets crashing into the World Trade Center towers? How about when you learned that Flight 77 crashed into the Pentagon and Flight 93 crashed into a Pennsylvania field? And if that wasn’t incomprehensible enough, do you remember what you were thinking and feeling as you watched replay after replay of the towers rumbling, collapsing, and disappearing from the New York city skyline?

In this article (intended to help pastors lead through crisis situations) he also reminds all of us what is most important to remember in a crisis: the sovereignty of God.

For the Christian, there is no greater comfort in a crisis than to be reminded and reassured of the sovereignty of God. But the common temptation and tendency in the midst of crisis is to forget or doubt God’s sovereignty. In the immediate unsettling emotional effect of a national crisis, we are tempted by sins of fear, worry, and unbelief. We are confused and perplexed. How can we reconcile God’s sovereignty, goodness, and wisdom with the looping video clips of events like 9/11?

Crisis has a way of rudely reminding us of mystery—the mystery of providence, evil, sin, and suffering. And these mysteries won’t be solved by more reading and study. D.A. Carson writes:

The mystery of providence defies our attempt to tame it by reason. I do not mean it is illogical; I mean that we do not know enough to be able to unpack it and domesticate it. Perhaps we may gauge how content we are to live with our limitations by assessing whether we are comfortable in joining the biblical writers in utterances that mock our frankly idolatrous devotion to our own capacity to understand.

There will always be an element of mystery in relation to our comprehension of God and his purpose. And especially in crisis. There will always be secret things we are incapable of understanding in our sinfulness and finitude (Deuteronomy 29:29). We must…become comfortable with—and appropriately humbled by—mystery.

But it’s not all mystery. God does not simply leave us paralyzed by the mysterious. In Scripture God has revealed his character, his purpose, and—most importantly—the work of his Son on the cross. These provide us with more than sufficient certainty and comfort in the midst of the most mysterious and perplexing crisis and suffering. God doesn’t reveal to me all I want to know; but he has revealed all I need to know. In crisis situations I must resist the temptation of devoting time and energy to trying to figure out what is clearly beyond my comprehension, and instead devote myself to what is clearly revealed in Scripture about the sovereignty and purpose of God. This will have a transforming effect on my soul.

For more on God’s sovereignty in suffering we recommend—

How Long O Lord? By DA Carson
When God Weeps by Joni Eareckson Tada and Steve Estes
and
Suffering and the Sovereignty of God edited by John Piper and Justin Taylor

God Delivers the Righteous

“Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.” Psalm 34:19

When I read Psalm 34:19 this morning, three friends immediately came to mind. One has a little girl in the middle of chemotherapy treatment. Another has a husband who is experiencing seizures while she is enduring severe morning sickness from her sixth pregnancy. Still another friend has a daughter with epilepsy, and only this week she learned that there may be some health concerns with her younger daughter as well. Talk about many afflictions! I cannot relate to the kind of suffering that my friends are enduring.

You too may be suffering many afflictions. They may be health or job related, they may be relational or spiritual. If so, may dear Mr. Spurgeon’s comments on this verse give you hope:

Many are the afflictions of the righteous. Thus are they made like Jesus their covenant head. Scripture does does not flatter us like the story books with the idea that goodness will secure us from trouble; on the contrary, we are again and again warned to expect tribulation while we are in this body. But – blessed “but,” how it takes the sting out of the previous sentence! – But the Lord delivers him out of them all. Through troops of ills Jehovah will lead his redeemed scatheless and triumphant. There is an end to the believer’s affliction, and a joyful end too. 

My righteous friends, may this “blessed ‘but’” ring long and loud in your ears today! May the truth of the second half of this verse be greater to you than the first. Yes, we may have to suffer many afflictions in this lifetime. But God has promised to deliver us from every one! Not some of them, or most of them, but “them all!” Our trials will come to an end--a joyous triumphant end!

I pray these words will comfort my three dear friends, and all of you, today.

Present with the Lord

This morning, we learned that three-year-old Micah Davis went home to be with the Lord. You may remember Micah’s mom, Kriscinda, who boldly expressed her faith in God as her son battled cancer. 

Our hearts grieve with Luke and Kriscinda and their entire family. In our grief, we also rejoice that your “little man” is now free from pain and suffering and stands in the presence of our Lord.

Throughout this lengthy trial, we have been provoked by the Davis’ active trust in God. Luke and Kriscinda have opened up their lives and pursued the grace and comfort that comes from the community of believers in the local church. As a result, they have encouraged all of us at Covenant Life Church to put our faith in our loving Savior as we face trials in our own lives.

To the Davis and Miller families—our love and prayers are with you.

Kristin
for the girltalkers and our husbands

"'Death is swallowed up in victory.' 'O death, where is your victory?' 'O death, where is your sting?' Thanks be to God, who give us the victory through Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 15:54-57

P.S. Dad shared about the Davis’ faith, and its effect on all of us, in a recent message.

Sadness on Mother’s Day

This morning, Kristin wrote to encourage mothers who have lost children to death. Some of you, while you have not been touched by tragedy of this magnitude, may feel as if you have lost a child. You have a wayward son or daughter. Maybe they are not a Christian and are mired in sin. Maybe they are even angry and bitter toward you.

You spent a lifetime caring for them, praying for them, teaching them God’s Word, and hoping they would become followers of Christ. And yet, they have chosen to pursue their own selfish desires instead. So Mother’s Day brings to the surface a host of conflicting temptations—guilt, fear, anger, and maybe even despair.

If you dread this day as a reminder of your greatest earthly sorrow, may I remind you of the gospel?  For no matter how “far gone” you think your child is or how great your temptations, there is hope in Christ.

You may not have been a perfect mother (none of us have!), but if you have repented from your sin and put your trust in Christ, you have a perfect Savior, and you are clothed in His righteousness. So instead of a Mother’s Day spent ruminating on your failure, rejoice instead in the forgiveness and mercy of our Lord.

And take heart. This same mercy and forgiveness is powerful enough to reach your child—no matter how far away from Christ they are trying to run. Tedd Tripp, author of Shepherding a Child’s Heart penned these encouraging words:

“You have reason for hope as parents who desire to see your children have faith. The hope is in the power of the gospel. The gospel is suited to the human condition. The gospel is attractive. God has already shown great mercy to your children. He has given them a place of rich privilege. He has placed them in a home where they have heard His truth. They have seen the transforming power of grace in their lives of His people. Your prayer and expectation is that the gospel will overcome their resistance as it has yours.” 

So may your heart be lightened by hope this Mother’s Day. And may you continue to pray in faith that God’s love and mercy will overcome your wayward child’s resistance, as it has yours.

Update: I think you'll also find this recent post by Abraham Piper--"12 Ways to Love Your Wayward Child"--to be both instructive and encouraging.

Grief on Mother’s Day

My husband and I have two little ones we believe are in heaven. We never met either of them. I carried each one in my womb for only a few short weeks and then the Lord took them home.

I remember it well, staring at the ultrasound screen, hoping, praying to see that beating heart, only to be informed by the technician that it had stopped. 

Each baby was small, but I could see the form of his or her head and body. Each one was my son or daughter; yet each was a baby I would never hold.

As painful as those two miscarriages were, I can’t imagine the pain of a mother who has actually held her little one, only to lose him or her in the end. I can’t imagine what you must think and feel on Mother’s Day.

But many godly men and women throughout history can relate to your experience. Their writings—the encouragement they received from God’s Word—are compiled in a book called From Grief to Glory: Spiritual Journeys of Mourning Parents.

One of these men was John Bunyan, author of Pilgrim’s Progress. He and his wife, Elizabeth, suffered the loss of two children. Considering their eternal future, he wrote:

“God comforted Rachel concerning her children that Herod murdered because of the birth of Christ. He bids her not to cry with the promise that her children would come again from the land of the enemy, from death. And I think this should be mentioned, not only for her and their sakes, but to comfort all those that either have had, or yet may have, their children suffer…. None of these things happen without the determinate counsel of God. He has ordained the sufferings of little children as well as that of persons more in years. And it is easy to think that God can as well foresee which of his elect shall suffer…in their infancy, as which of them shall then die a natural death. He has saints small in age as well as in esteem. And although I desire not to see these days again, yet it will please me to see those little ones…standing in their white robes with the elders of their people, before the throne, singing unto the Lamb.”

I pray this picture of your child’s joy in heaven may fill your heart with comfort and hope this Mother’s Day.

Infertility on Mother’s Day

It’s almost Mother’s Day again. And for some of you, this can be a bittersweet holiday. You delight in the opportunity that this occasion affords to honor your own mother and all your friends who are mothers, but you also can be saddened by the reality that you are not yet a mother, even though you long to be.

Perhaps you are single and there does not appear to be any prospect for marriage in the near future. You are keenly aware, however, that the body clock is ticking. You may fear that the childbearing years will pass you by.

Others of you may be married and have been trying to get pregnant for months now. Maybe even years. But still no baby.

In her book, The True Woman, Susan Hunt, includes a story by a woman who faces this very struggle. Debbie Trickett from Atlanta, Georgia, knows the heart-wrenching challenge of infertility. But Debbie also knows the heart-changing power of savoring God’s presence and goodness. We got permission to share her story with you. We pray it will impart fresh comfort and encouragement to any who have an unfulfilled longing for children:

Children. I want children. Not just a baby. Not just a child. I want children. Three of them. If I were younger, I might want more, but at thirty-four three seems like a good number. Marrying a little late and moving across the country a couple of times as well as a long-running struggle to pay the rent delayed the real trying for a while. The trying has been going on for a long time now. Not as long a many of you, but much longer than most.

To no avail. No children. Not one pregnancy. I have never experienced that wonder of knowing that there is a life inside of me. Instead, there is a longing that will not be filled, that will not be diminished, that will not end this side of heaven without children to fill it.

Nothing else in my life has been as baffling to me as not being able to conceive a child. My emotions hide even from myself, spilling out in tears of sadness or anger at the most inopportune times. There have been no days of real clarity, no times when a light has come on to show the way—not even a little. But the mysterious and marvelous mercy of God has convinced me of one thing in all of this—it is dark because I am in that deep, hidden place under God’s wing.

Certainly, the inability to bear children to the glory of God is due to the sinfulness of sin and its effect on all of life. It is not that God punishes us by not allowing us to give birth to the offspring we most desperately desire. It is rather that we, along with all of creation, suffer the wretched consequences of the sin of our first mother and father, Adam and Eve, compounded by the sin of all the sinners who have come after them. And that, of course, is all of us.

Since this is so, I know that, as with all of life, I must not put my trust in anything other than God, even in the provision of a child. This does not necessarily mean that I may not use a medical intervention to try to conceive a child. It does not mean that adoption is not an option to pursue. Rather, I trust that God in His mercy has given us these means as part of His redemption from the effects of the Fall.

At times the knowledge that God has given His covenant of grace to believers and their children makes not being able to have a child even more difficult to understand and bear. God has rescued me from such a desperate place and has given me such a glorious glimpse of Himself that I want, with all that is within me, to see this passed on to the next generation of my family, my children.

My heart cries out, “Why, O God, will You not answer this prayer? Why will You not do this simple thing for me and for Your own name’s sake? You do it for so many so easily. Your marvelous grace. Why not to me?” With thoughts like these, it is easy to fall into deep despair, and at times I certainly do. When this happens, God in His time and His various graceful ways, comes to me to remind me that I am not alone.

He does not, as so many do, tell me that “my time will come.” He does not say that if I will just relax and not try so hard, everything will be okay. He does not say, “If you adopt a baby, you’ll get pregnant.” He does say that He is with me. He weeps with me as Jesus wept for Lazarus. He reminds me that He is good and that He can be trusted with my heart. Any doubt of that was wiped away at the Cross.

He has given His best to me, His own beautiful, beloved Child. Will He withhold any good thing from me? No, never. Is Jesus enough to make up for this aching void in my soul? I do not always feel that it is so. But it is. Jesus loves me—this I know.

Taken from True Women by Susan Hunt, (c)1997. Used by permission of Crossway Books, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers, Wheaton, Illinois 60187, www.crossway.com.

Tragedy at Virginia Tech

Grief, fear and questions abound in the wake of yesterday’s horrible shooting at Virginia Tech. Only in God’s Word and the saving message of the gospel can comfort, hope and answers be found. The following are some biblical resources we hope you find helpful as you interact with unbelievers, or maybe even grieve for a loved-one or comfort someone whose family was affected by this, or any other tragedy.

To equip you to discuss the problem of evil in the world today, we want to encourage you to listen to yesterday’s Albert Mohler radio program entitled "Tragedy in Blacksburg: Explaining Evil in a Morally Confused Age." Here Dr. Mohler provides the biblical answer to the question everyone is asking: “How does something like this happen?”

Even if we aren’t personally affected by the Virginia Tech tragedy, events such as these can have a troubling effect on our souls. If you are tempted to fear or doubt, learn from the prophet Habakkuk in this audio message from CJ, third in a three-part series called “When Life Doesn’t Make Sense.”

Maybe some of you know families who are living through this tragedy—or another difficult trial. John Piper’s 21 suggestions for how to comfort the hurting (first posted after 9-11) is an invaluable tool as we seek to care for those we love.

Please join us in praying that the God of all comfort would comfort those who are grieving and that the saving message of the gospel would go forth in the midst of this tragic event.

Because the Days are Evil

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” (Ephesians 5:15-16)

I went to one of my favorite places for lunch today: the Lancaster County Dutch Market. Every Thursday through Saturday a group of Amish from Lancaster, Pennsylvania make the trek to Germantown, Maryland where they make and sell the most delicious food. My customary hang out spot is the soft-pretzel stand where you can watch the Amish girls twist the dough for my favorite cinnamon-sugar pretzels.

This afternoon, as I was placing my usual order, the man who owns the stand engaged me in conversation (yes, he knows me). He informed me that the sister of one of the young women who works for him was one of the little girls shot in the tragic Amish school shooting two weeks ago.

“Did she survive?” I asked him. He told me her life was mercifully spared. She is hopefully leaving the hospital today! I told him we were praying, before he moved to help the next customer in line.

My heart broke for this little girl and the horror of her experience, and all those affected by this tragedy. Initially, I felt helpless, wishing there was something I could do to comfort them and ease their pain.

However, it was a fresh reminder to me of the truth of Ephesians 5:15-16. The days are indeed evil. Therefore, I am to strive to live every day with wisdom, “making the best use of my time.” And my heart can rest in the certainty of God’s sovereignty over the evil found in this world and the hope of the gospel for all mankind.