girltalk Blog
2011 at 9:16 pm | by Carolyn Mahaney
Filed under
Biblical Womanhood Suffering
There have been certain times during this trial when my prayers were reduced to nothing more than cries for help throughout the day. “Lord, have mercy on us.” “Lord, we need your grace.” “Lord, please help.” On these days I sometimes felt guilty that my prayers lacked substance. Then I remembered the truth of Christ’s prayers for me:
“It is a consoling thought that Christ is praying for us, even when we are negligent in our prayer life; that He is presenting to the Father those spiritual needs which were not present to our minds and which we often neglect to include in our prayers; and that He prays for our protection against the dangers of which we are not even conscious, and against the enemies which threaten us, though we do not notice it. He is praying that our faith may not cease, and that we may come out victoriously in the end.”
Louis Berkhof, Systematic Theology, p.403.
“If I could hear Christ praying for me in the next room, I would not fear a million enemies. Yet distance makes no difference. He is praying for me.”
Robert Murray M’Cheyne, Robert Murray M’Cheyne p.179.
(From a post by Justin Taylor)
What enormous comfort and courage poured into my soul when I remembered my Savior’s prayers!
2011 at 2:22 pm | by Carolyn Mahaney
Filed under
Biblical Womanhood Suffering
In these past few months, I have discovered a helpful exercise for the soul: studying the lives of great saints. These men and women often had great trials, and when I read about their trials it puts my own in proper perspective. Martyn Lloyd-Jones makes this point in the book Faith on Trial:
“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.” 1 Co. 10:13
“Where the devil gets us is just here. He persuades us that nobody has ever had this trial before: no one has ever had a problem like mine, no one else has been dealt with like this. But Paul says, ‘There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man,’ and the moment you remember even that much, you feel better. All God’s people know something about this: we are such strange creatures, and sin has had a strange effect upon us. We are always helped in our suffering by hearing that somebody else is suffering too!.... Some of the greatest saints that have ever adorned the life of the Church have experienced trials and troubles and tribulations which cause our little problems to pale into insignificance.” Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Faith on Trial, pp. 56-57
So let me encourage you, sometime soon, to read a biography of a godly man or woman. Or, if you don’t have time to read, listen to John Piper’s biographical sermons online. For me, this spiritual exercise has caused my “little problems to pale into insignificance.”
2011 at 9:18 pm | by Carolyn Mahaney
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Biblical Womanhood Suffering
“They that love God as they ought, will have such a sense of his wonderful long-suffering toward them under the many injuries they have offered to him, that it will seem to them but a small thing to bear with the injuries that have been offered to them by their fellow-men.”
~Jonathan Edwards, Charity and Its Fruits, p.78.
2011 at 5:11 pm | by Nicole Whitacre
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Biblical Womanhood Suffering
When I was a little girl I would often stay late with my dad after church. I would run the halls and play hide and seek with my friends. But after they went home and a few people were still waiting to talk to my dad, I would stand quietly by his side.
I don’t remember what people said to my dad during those after-church conversations, but I do remember something my dad would say. When speaking to people in the midst of extreme suffering, who were nevertheless trusting God and clinging to His promises, Dad would look them in the eye and tell them how much he respected them. Then he would remind them that their trust in God was a pronounced and powerful evidence of grace in their lives.
When I read this post by Jordan Rice this morning, I remembered what my dad would say and I thought “This is amazing grace, indeed.”
Two years ago today (Aug. 22nd), God gave me a faith-filled, gorgeous, brilliant woman as my wife. Danielle. A virgin on our wedding night and the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I was literally the happiest guy in the world and at that time 2 years ago, I never could have imagined in a million years that I’d be where I am today. Instead of a vacation or a celebratory dinner to celebrate our anniversary, I’m on my way to the cemetery to mourn my wife’s passing.
But today I’m blessed in my mourning. No, this isn’t some denial of the pain associated with grief, because truth be told today is one of the worst and most painful moments I’ve ever lived through. Losing Danielle is a pain so deep and enduring, I would have preferred having my arms ripped off. Nevertheless, faith and pain can and do co-exist very nicely.
May God give us all His grace to bless Him in our mourning.
HT: Thabiti Anyabwile
2011 at 9:54 am | by Nicole Whitacre
Filed under
Biblical Womanhood Suffering
“By faith we will slip our cable for another day’s cruise, and sail forth with Jesus into a sea of tribulation. Winds and waves will not spare us, but they all obey Him; and, therefore, whatever squalls may occur without, faith shall feel a blessed calm within. He is ever in the centre of the weather-beaten company: let us rejoice in Him. His vessel has reached the haven, and so shall ours.” ~Charles Spurgeon
2011 at 1:46 pm | by Carolyn Mahaney
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Biblical Womanhood Suffering
After our little earthquake yesterday, a friend from Arizona texted me:
“As if your world needed anymore shaking! Are you OK?”
When I assured her that we were all fine, she replied…
“Good to be secure on the rock of Christ!...He is the only solid ground. Love you!”
Amen.
2011 at 3:40 pm | by Nicole Whitacre
Filed under
Biblical Womanhood Suffering
The following interview with Nancy Guthrie from Desiring God Live is both comforting and compelling—in particular the first half where she shares her testimony of God’s grace in the midst of the grief of losing two children. Here is a brief introduction to Nancy from the DG blog and the video is below. We’d encourage you to watch or listen:
In today’s modern world, few parents have to face the bitter task of burying a child that they love. But David and Nancy Guthrie have faced the grave twice now, burying two children who lived only six months.
When Nancy gave birth to a daughter, Hope, in 1998, club feet, extreme lethargy, an inability to suck, and a number of other small problems hinted at something more significant. On her second day of life, Hope was diagnosed with Zellweger Syndrome, a rare metabolic disorder that is characterized by the reduction or absence of peroxisomes (cell structures that rid the body of toxic substances) in the cells of the liver, kidneys, and brain. There is no treatment and no cure for Zellweger Syndrome and most children with the syndrome live less than six months.
For Nancy, her husband David, and their son, Matt, the diagnosis was devastating and disappointing. Hope’s brief life—a life of only 199 days— made a significant impact on them and those around them, causing them to dig deep into their faith to make sense of such suffering.
2011 at 9:12 pm | by Carolyn Mahaney
Filed under
Biblical Womanhood Suffering
This series on mothers of disabled children allows us to introduce you to some of our heroes. These women lavish their disabled children with love and care. Yet, very often their children are unable to thank them—in words anyways. So we want to say “thank you” on their behalf.
Today I want you to meet Irene—another one of my heroes. Irene served as my husband’s secretary before she married Jeff, and this dear couple have been faithful members of our church for many years. As with Diane, there is so much I could say about Irene, but I’m going to let my good friend Charlotte—who has observed Irene up close for many years—introduce you to this godly woman.
“What Irene Taught Me”
I’ve known Irene Herbert for almost 20 years but we were not close friends at first. She married five or six years before I did and had her first baby about a year later. Her precious firstborn, Bethany, is fifteen now. She has never walked or talked. She is fed through a tube in her stomach. She has several seizures on most days and sometimes she drools. Irene and her husband Jeff love Bethany passionately. They have taught their five other children to love her like that. I didn’t understand that love at first, but when my child, Valerie, was born with Down Syndrome, Irene taught me how to love Bethany too.
Irene has a tenacious belief in God’s sovereignty and in His word. She has always considered her daughter to be a precious gift from God, fearfully and wonderfully made. She beams whenever Bethany focuses her eyes on Irene’s face, even for an instant. “See how she knows me,” she’ll say. Though I usually can’t see much difference in Bethany on any given day, I know Irene can. She knows her child. Irene taught me to see Valerie like that. A precious gift, made in the image of God. She taught me that even when others don’t understand Valerie, I can. Watching Irene taught me that God helps mothers like us to see things in our children even when no one else can.
Irene doesn’t compare Bethany with any other child. To Irene, Bethany is complete the way she is. Though she has many serious limitations, Irene doesn’t consider her to be less “human” or “worthy.” Irene accepts Bethany’s disabilities and rejoices as she sees God’s hand in every tiny step of progress. She sees her other children that way too. Irene is keenly aware that all growth comes from God and she is grateful for evidences of grace in any of her children. She has taught me that comparison is so unwise. She’s taught me to love Valerie as God has made her and to delight to watch her grow on the unique path he has given her, and to do that for all of my children.
Though Irene sometimes wonders why God made Bethany the way she is, I have never heard her charge God or demand an answer. She doesn’t complain about caring for Bethany, bathing, dressing and diapering her. Recently, Bethany’s health began what may be a slow decline. Last month she spent several weeks in the ICU. Irene spent many nights at the hospital serving and praying for her child. “I know one day I’ll have a conversation with her,” she told me. “One day she and I will be in heaven together and we’ll have so much to talk about.” Irene has taught me to have an eternal perspective. This is not all there is, it’s just all we see now.
—from the archives
2011 at 2:43 pm | by Carolyn Mahaney
Filed under
Biblical Womanhood Suffering
As a pastor’s wife, I’ve often had a front row seat to observe people walk through trying circumstances. It invigorates my soul and builds my faith to see God’s grace at work in their lives.
Yet to be completely honest, I’ve also wrestled with questions, fears, and doubts as I’ve watched godly people experience severe trials such as a child being born with a disability. Why did God allow this to happen? Why hasn’t God healed their child? What is God’s plan and purpose in this suffering?
As in every arena of life, we must resolve our questions and fight our doubts and fears through Holy Scripture. To help us discover what God’s Word has to say regarding people with disabilities, we want to encourage you to read an article by Peter Avery: “Then shall the lame man leap like a deer: God and the disabled.”
Himself the father of a disabled daughter, Mr. Avery notes that, “Families never plan to have a disabled child. We live in a society that strives for and idolizes perfection, with people paying exorbitant amounts of money to have reconstructions done on their bodies.” But, he also observes that one in five of his native Australians have a disability.
So, he continues, “The question I want to ask is, ‘How do people with bodies that are less than perfect fit into God’s world?’ What is the big picture of how God views his creation? How does he view people with disabilities? How should we view them? How do people with disabilities fit into his plan?” In this honest, thorough, and hope-filled survey, Mr. Avery outlines what Scripture has to say in answer to these questions.
Even if you do not have a family member who has a disability, no doubt you know someone who does. This article will arm you with a biblical viewpoint and equip you to more effectively care for the disabled and their loved ones.
(Thanks to our friends at The Briefing for allowing us to make this article available to our readers free of charge.)
—from the archives
2011 at 1:40 pm | by Nicole Whitacre
Filed under
Biblical Womanhood Suffering Motherhood
-from the archives by Janelle
Recently, my sweet 2-year-old misplaced her desire to sleep through the night. Mommy has been hard at work helping her to find that desire again. But it’s meant little sleep for Mommy at night and long days of wanting to crawl into the nearest bed. Mix in a rather nasty cold for the two-year-old and some pregnancy hormones for Mommy and I will leave the rest to your imagination.
But you know what? This tiny trial has forced me to draw near to God. And just as it tells me in His Word, He has been faithful to draw near to me (James 4:8). He has been reminding me of His sovereignty and love. This situation didn’t catch Him by surprise and it is the BEST for my girl and me. Sweet comfort!
So no matter where you find yourself today—in a trial big or tiny. Remember, the Lord isn’t surprised and He has PROMISED to work for your good in all things (Rom. 8:28).
These words from J. C. Ryle have brought me much encouragement:
“Reader, if God has given you His only begotten Son, beware of doubting His kindness and love, in any painful providence of your daily life! Never allow yourself to think hard thoughts of God. Never suppose that He can give you anything which is not really for your good. Remember the words of Paul: ‘He who spared not His own Son—but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things’ (Romans 8:32).
See in every sorrow and trouble of your earthly pilgrimage the hand of Him who gave Christ to die for your sins! That hand can never smite you except in love! He who gave His only begotten Son for you, will never withhold anything from you which is really for your good. Lean back on this thought and be content. Say to yourself in the darkest hour of trial, ‘This also is ordered by Him who gave Christ to die for my sins. It cannot be wrong. It is done in love. It must be well.’”
2011 at 12:53 pm | by Carolyn Mahaney
Filed under
Biblical Womanhood Suffering
“It was not wicked for the Lord to take my son.” These are the words of Lisa Blanco, just a few short weeks after losing her baby boy:
On April 2, the Lord took our sweet boy to be with him. Just before he passed, we were able to sing to him. Ernie sang “It Is Well” and I hummed “A Mighty Fortress” the best I could. I held him for the first time, telling him we’d see him soon. I passed him to Ernie, and when the time came to take all the machines off, Ernie quoted Numbers 6:24-26 as the last words Haddon could hear:
The LORD bless you, and keep you;?
The LORD make his face shine on you,?
And be gracious to you;?
The LORD lift up his countenance on you,?
And give you peace.
As our plans as parents have been thrown into confusion and sadness, we are faced with the question of what happens next. I long each morning to wake up to a crying baby to console in my arms. Ernie longs to come home from a long day of work to play with his son, and each time we walk to the garage we have to pass an empty nursery painted in blue. Through each seemingly impossible fear that rushes to our minds, the Lord has calmed us with several great truths about himself and our circumstance.
Some of you reading this today have also suffered the excruciating pain of losing a child. May these great and calming truths about God be a balm to your soul.
2011 at 3:39 pm | by Carolyn Mahaney
Filed under
Biblical Womanhood Suffering
We have all been praying for the people of Japan as they continue to endure unimaginable suffering following last week’s earthquake and tsunami. If you haven’t already, we encourage you to read John Piper’s prayer for mercy for the Japanese people.
This morning, Justin Taylor posted information from artist Makoto Fujimura about a reputable relief organization in Japan and we wanted to pass it on to you:
“CRASH (Christian Relief, Assistance, Support, and Hope) volunteers in Tokyo are mobilizing to provide aid to victims of the magnitude 9.0 earthquake that struck the northeastern coast of Japan on Friday….CRASH Japan, working closely with JEMA (the Japanese Evangelical Missionary Association), has a large network of experienced volunteers who know the culture and language…
According to JEMA President Dale Little, “CRASH is the second-to-none relief network in Japan. No other agency is able to assess the needs on the ground like CRASH, and then take steps toward meeting those needs. The effectiveness of CRASH includes linking closely with local churches in Japan.”
About the disaster, CRASH Japan director Jonathan Wilson made the following statement: ‘Many of us are wondering how we can best respond to the news of the earthquake and tsunami that have devastated Japan. As the television screens pour out images, we pour out our hearts to the Creator to take care of this great nation.’”
You can learn more about CRASH and contribute here.
2011 at 5:51 pm | by Carolyn Mahaney
Filed under
Biblical Womanhood Suffering
As a newlywed, Darlene Deibler Rose served as a missionary in New Guinea with her husband from 1938 to 1942. Then, for four years, she was imprisoned by the Japanese during World War II and endured almost unspeakable hardships, including solitary confinement, near starvation, beatings and loss of her husband, Russell Deibler. Yet in her book, Evidence Not Seen, she wrote:
“Viewing those eight years from this far side, I marvel at the wisdom and love of our God, Who controls the curtains of the stage on which the drama of our lives is played; His hand draws aside the curtains of events only far enough for us to view one sequence at a time. Had those eight years been revealed to me in one panoramic view that misty gray January morning in 1938, would I have had the courage to board the ship? I wonder. Through the intervening years, tempestuous winds of gale force have buffeted me. Waves of tidal proportions have threatened to carry me under or dash me upon the rocks. But knowing now what I did not know those many years ago… I can thank my God for every storm that has wrecked me upon the Rock, Christ Jesus!” (pp.221-222)
May we thank Him too.
2011 at 3:29 pm | by Nicole Whitacre
Filed under
Biblical Womanhood Suffering
How does a man glorify God in the face of death? How does his wife glorify God after he is gone?
Here’s how:
The Story of Zac Smith from Adam Kring on Vimeo.
A Story | Tears of Hope from Adam Kring on Vimeo.
For more on dying well, or living well after your husband is gone, we recommend:
O Love That Will Not Let Me Go: Facing Death with Courageous Confidence in God ed. by Nancy Guthrie
The Undistracted Widow: Living for God After Losing your Husband by Carol Cornish
May God grant each of us grace to live and die to the glory of our Savior!
HT: Justin Taylor
2010 at 2:16 pm | by Carolyn Mahaney
Filed under
Biblical Womanhood Suffering
(this post by CJ is reprinted from the cheap seats blog )
This weekend I had the privilege of serving our friends at Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis. I love this church and preaching there is a pure joy because they are so attentive and responsive. And I always benefit from my interaction with members of the pastoral team, whom I deeply respect.
But there was a unique highlight on this trip in meeting Krista Horning.
Krista, now 23 years old, was diagnosed with Apert syndrome the day after her birth and has since undergone more then 60 surgeries. (I simply cannot comprehend that!) But you would probably never know that Krista has spent so much time in hospitals if you were to see her pronounced joy evident in her beautiful smile.
Krista is also the author of the new book Just the Way I Am: God’s Good Design in Disability (Desiring God, 2009). When it was released I received a copy from my friend Jon Bloom at Desiring God. I immediately read the book when it arrived and was deeply moved as I read it. I think you will be as well.
In the foreword, Joni Eareckson Tada writes:
Every child goes through the “Why?” stage. Kids and questions go together. But it gets tougher when, with doleful eyes, a child asks, “Why don’t my legs work like the other kids?” or “Why did God make me this way?”
Krista Horning is a young woman heaven-bent on helping children find answers. Especially the Answer, Jesus Christ. With a tenderness tempered by her own physical challenges, Krista considers it her life’s calling to lovingly lead kids with disabilities beyond their questions to discover just how wise and sovereign God really is.
The bulk of the book features photographs of joyful children at Bethlehem Church who suffer from disabilities. The photographs are complemented with biblical promises. Joni’s foreword is followed later in the book with a pastoral meditation by David Michael and a brief biography of Krista’s life written by her mother Mary (meeting the rest of the Horning family—Mary, her husband, son, and daughter—was another highlight from the trip!). Krista’s book concludes with application questions and a brief list of gospel truths by John Piper.
Just the Way I Am is a unique and valuable resource for parents and pastors who get asked the honest questions from children with disabilities.
What a joy to see how the Horning family is bringing honor to the Savior. And what joy it was to meet Krista and her family this weekend.
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