Book Club Chapter 10

“Feelings of love follow acts of love…. A woman of dominion is not pushed around and bullied by her feelings and emotions. On the basis of her solemn covenantal commitment to her husband, she loves him.” p. 164-165

On October 15 of the year 1998, it was a few short weeks before my wedding. Brian had already moved to Chicago in September of that year and I remained in Maryland until our wedding day (November 7). I remember how much I missed him those nine weeks we were apart. But I was busy packing up my room, finalizing our wedding plans, attending my bridal shower and excitedly anticipating our new life together.

November 7 was a wonderful day—everything I had hoped it would be. We went on a glorious week-long honeymoon to Florida, before flying back to Chicago to begin our new life together. 

Then “real life” blew in with the harsh Chicago weather. I was still deeply in love with Brian, but I also began to realize the magnitude of the decision I had made. I had left my family, friends, and the only church I’d ever known to follow my husband. Everything was new and unfamiliar: my home, friends, job, grocery store, and especially the weather!

Brian has joked that we should have bought stock in Kleenex, given how much I cried that first winter. Eleven years later, I am more grateful than ever for the godly, patient, man I am married too.

My experience as a new bride, missing home, was a helpful lesson: feelings are unreliable! But chapter ten of Womanly Dominion was a great reminder of what’s important for us as wives: to respect, be grateful for, and passionately love our husband—regardless of how we may feel at times. When, by the grace of God, we choose to love our husband, we will reap the sweet rewards of ever-growing affections.

I was freshly challenged by this chapter. I want to continue to grow in showing love to my husband. I’m inspired to thank Brian once again for his faithful love and care for me. And I am going to ask him: what is one way I can grow in expressing my love for you?

So will you join me? Whether you are a new bride or celebrating your fiftieth anniversary, let me encourage you to ask your husband this question, and do one thing to show him your love today (1 Cor. 13:4-7).