When I think back on my childhood, one of the things I’m most grateful for is how my parents taught me not only how to live, but also how to feel about living.
Obedience was required; cheerful obedience was praised to the sky.
Joy in God wasn’t just something my dad preached about on Sundays; it was the emotion all over his face when he came home from work, it was the way my mom washed the dishes.
Alongside cheerfulness (which we’ve already talked a bit about), my parents sought to cultivate feelings of thankfulness and passion for God in their children.
As I try to do the same for my own kids, here are a few things I remember.
(Note: When I showed this post to my mom, she protested: “This isn’t how I remember my mothering! I remember plenty of times when I wasn’t cheerful or thankful!” But this is exactly how I remember my parents’ example in our home, and my siblings agree. This can encourage us as moms. Children don’t focus on individual moments of mothering failure; they remember a way of life, however imperfect, that is growing toward godliness.)
“I give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart” (Ps. 9;1, emphasis mine) writes the psalmist. This, and nothing less, is what we want for our children. We can do this by calling them to thankfulness as a way of life.
Thanksgiving was not only a holiday tradition, it was a way of life in our home. I am hard pressed to remember a single meal or activity where Dad did not invite us all to join him in giving exuberant thanks to God for the blessings we were enjoying.
Some may think it disingenuous to call your children to express a thankfulness they don’t feel, but quite the opposite is true. You can’t express constant thankfulness to God without feeling it sooner or later. Try it and you’ll see.
I have vivid memories of my parents’ grief—not irritation or impatience, but genuine, godly, grief—over our complaining. In light of the many blessings you have received from God, how can you complain? Do you see how displeasing your attitude is to God?
These days, complaining is the stuff of sitcoms, but in our little world (which was, after all, the real one) it was a serious sin.
Passion for God
As children, we instinctively knew—as children always know—what our parents were passionate about. We knew they cared about glorifying God and serving the church more than anything. This is what they got excited about and what they were most concerned about. And their passion was contagious.
To help us catch a passion for God, my parents sought to fill our time with serving God and his church, the idea being, “where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” (Luke 12:34). Our activities were evaluated for their kingdom-building potential. So our world revolved around our family and our family revolved around the church and its mission.
My parents talked about their passion for God, talked about their longing for us to have a passion for God, encouraged us when we expressed passion for God and warned us when we expressed more passion for something else more than God.
If we as parents feel a growing passion for God, our children will learn to imitate us as we long to glorify him.