Fun Stuff

Friday Funnies

I haven't been posting much lately as my boys have been busy providing future Friday Funnies for me to share. I'm just not laughing yet. But give me a couple weeks (months?) and maybe I'll tell you about them. Let's just say paint was involved and leave it at that for now.

Here's a Friday Funny we received from one of our most encouraging readers, Cindy Campbell. As she herself points out, the theology is askew but it's a good opportunity to laugh at ourselves.

"A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer.  Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you have been faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The man said 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want.'

The Lord said, 'Your request is very materialistic.  Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking.  The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific!  The concrete and steel it would take!  It will nearly exhaust several natural resources.  I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.  Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me.'

The man thought about it for a long time.  Finally he said, 'Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife.  I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says "nothing's wrong," and how I can make a woman truly happy.'

The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?'"

Have a restful weekend everyone (and especially you moms out there!)

Kristin
(for Carolyn, Nicole, and Janelle)

Friday Funnies

I came across this comical poem several years ago. Though funny, this woman's experience feels uncomfortably familiar. See if you can't relate.

"A woman was waiting at an airport one night,
With several long hours before her flight.
She hunted for a book in the airport shop,
Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.
She was engrossed in her book, but happened to see,
That the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be,
Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag between,
Which she tried to ignore, to avoid a scene.
She read, munched cookies, and watched the clock,
As the gutsy 'cookie thief' diminished her stock.
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by,
Thinking, If I wasn't so nice, I would blacken his eye!
With each cookie she took, he took one too.
When only one was left, she wondered what he'd do.
With a smile on his face and a nervous laugh,
He took the last cookie and broke it in half.
He offered her half, as he ate the other.
She snatched it from him and thought, Oh brother,
This guy has some nerve and he's also rude.
Why, he didn't even show any gratitude!
She had never known when she had been so galled,
And sighed with relief when her flight was called.
She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate,
Refusing to look back at the 'thieving ingrate.'
She boarded the plane and sank in her seat,
Then sought her book, which was almost complete.
As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise:
There were her cookies in front of her eyes.
If mine are here, she moaned with despair,
Then the others were his and he tried to share!
Too late to apologize, she realized with grief,
That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief!"

Valerie Cox. "The Cookie Thief," in Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen, A 3rd Serving of Chicken Soup for the Soul (Deerfield Beach, Fla.: Health Communications, 1996).

"And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God." Philippians 1:9-11

We're signing off 'til Monday.

Warmly,
Carolyn, Nicole, Kristin, and Janelle

Friday Funnies

When I used to edit the church bulletin, certain mischevious staff members took great delight in "planting" mistakes for me to catch. For that reason, I particularly enjoyed the following list of bulletin bloopers. It's been circulating for a couple of years now, so you may have read these already. And granted, several are a little corny. But really, some of these just have to make you smile.

1.    Ushers will eat latecomers.

2.    Today the pastor will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing, “Break Forth into Joy!”

3.    Miss Charlene Mason sang, “I Will Not Pass This Way Again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

4.    Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale.  It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.  Bring your husbands.

5.    Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers.  Bring your own hot dogs and guns.  Friends are welcome.  Everyone come for a fun time.

6.    Easter Sunday, we will have a 9:30 worship service.  The 11:00 will be hell as usual.

7.    Tonight’s sermon – “What is hell?”  Come early and listen to our choir practice.

8.    Thursday night – Potluck supper – prayer & medication to follow.

9.    Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

10.    For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

May the gospel, the truth that: "Christ died for the ungodly" (Rom. 5:6) bring you joy all weekend long. Courtship stories return Monday. Bye for now!

Carolyn, Nicole, Kristin, and Janelle

Acceptance Speech

We Girl Talkers don’t know what to say.

It’s been some time since we’ve received an award—and never one as prestigious as the "Warnie Award." Sure, there was Mom’s triumph in the fifth grade spelling bee. Janelle did us all proud when she was named Grand Champion of the junior photography competition at the Montgomery County Agricultural Fair. Kristin received the highest grade in Bible class out of twenty fellow sophomores, but she didn’t even show up for the award ceremony. And I blush to mention my only distinction—the first winner of the "Golden Mop Award." I got twenty dollars in the sixth grade for cleaning more surfaces in my elementary school than any other student, but only when I was sure the teachers were watching. Remember when Anne Shirley won the "Rollings Reliable Baking Powder Company" contest? Then you know how I feel about my "Golden Mop Award."

So as you can see, Dad and Mom have never had a cluttered mantle. You could put all our combined awards in a box and they would not equal half the value of a "Warnie Award." So this is a big day for us. Really big.

What? You don’t know what a "Warnie Award" is? Let me explain.

Across the great Atlantic Ocean in the United Kingdom, but only next door on the blogosphere is a respected evangelical blogger named Adrian Warnock (Check him out at www.adrian.warnock.info). Sometime ago, he inaugurated the “Warnie Awards” (Get it—Warnock/Warnie?) to recognize fellow bloggers whose sites he deemed worthy enough to share with his readers. And yesterday, for reasons we still don’t understand, and in spite of our graphically challenged site (new design coming soon, by the way) we were presented with a "Warnie Award." We might even print and frame it so we can fill out the family mantle. You can view it by clicking here.

We’re not very good at giving acceptance speeches here at the Girl Talk blog. As you are now aware, we don’t have much experience with this. But in all seriousness, Mr. Warnock, we want to sincerely thank you for the "Warnie Award."  We have such respect for you and your ministry, and many of the distinguished company of "Warnie Award" recipients. We only hope to emulate you in serving and edifying the body of Christ. And we are truly indebted to you for this award. Thank you so very much.

Carolyn, Nicole, Kristin, and Janelle (aka The Girl Talkers)

A Girl’s Favorite Activity

As many of you already know, the annual Mahaney women’s shopping trip is a fixture on the calendar. For the past seventeen years we’ve stolen a weekend in October to do our Christmas shopping together. We travel to a nearby city with a large shopping district, stay in a hotel, and shop, then drop, then shop some more.

It’s great to enter the Christmas season unhurried and free from the pressure to purchase all the gifts and decorate the house and make all the food. Not to mention the extra time it leaves to find just the right gift at just the right price. And while it might take family members and friends a little while to get used to thinking up a Christmas list in October, they’ll catch on.

Consider making this your mother-daughter tradition, or grab a couple of friends and split the cost of a room. For a sneak peek into our annual trip from the introduction to Girl Talk, click here.

Birthday

For every birthday when we were little, Dad and Mom would put up a banner over the garage.  It would read "Happy Birthday Janelle" or "Hurrah It's Kristin's Birthday."  So every car that drove by and every neighbor that came outside knew there was a birthday celebration at the Mahaney home. It was one of the many ways our parents sought to honor and bless us on our special day.

Today we want to post our own banner.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST HUSBAND AND FATHER IN THE WORLD!

We love you, C.J./Dad.
Carolyn, Nicole, Kristin, Janelle, and Chad

Friday Funnies

This week's winner comes to us from Angela Smith...

"Kaleb loves to sing; one day I overheard him singing these words(which he thought were the right words!) to the song "Father Abraham"...

Father Abraham had many sins
Many sins had Father Abraham
I am one of them and so are you
So let's just praise the Lord!

After having a good laugh, I explained to him that we are the SONS of Abraham and not his sins!"

See ya Monday, everyone!

Friday Funnies

I'm back with yet another winner from our Friday Funnies contest!  This entry comes to us from Kim Polk...

One day we were in the car and my 4yr old overheard me  telling my husband that the Salvation Army was coming tomorrow to pick up  our couch. JoJo said "Who is coming tomorrow?" I said the "Salvation  Army" and he asked "Who are they?" Not thinking how the  words Salvation Army sounded to a small child I simply said that they were  coming to get our couch because we didn't want it any more. He was  quiet for a few moments and then in a timid voice said "Will they  have guns?"

Have a great weekend, everyone.

WINNER…

This has been an incredibly difficult decision.  We had such a great time reading all of the "Friday Funnies" entries.  Narrowing this down was next to impossible, but we got it down to four winners.  We will be posting one today and the others over the next three Fridays.  Ladies, for those of you that won, we will be contacting you for your addresses and you will find your Starbucks in the mail.  To everyone else, thanks for making this contest so much fun.  I promise that it will not be the last.  I hope that you enjoy these as much as we did....

Winner #1

"Our little bro, Jared, is always saying funny things...  This story happened one Sunday in his Children's Ministry class when he was 6 years old. His teacher was talking to the class about Luke.  She was telling them that he was a physician, or a doctor.  Jared politely raised his hand & said: "Luke wasn't a doctor... he was a Jedi"!"
-Submitted by Liane & Charis Okada

Friday Funnies become Saturday Funnies

We have had a huge response to the "funny kid sayings" contest!  We were sitting down today to finally narrow it down to a winner and wouldn't you know, our internet would not work.  This led to a long time on the phone with our internet provider which eventually led to someone coming to the house to work on it.  By the time it was fixed, we all had to disband for our evening activities.  We didn't want to decide this winner quickly.  It's gonna be a pretty tough call.  Can you feel the excitement building?!?  So, we have decided to make it "Saturday Funnies" this week.  Be sure to check in tomorrow for the big winner...

Contest!

I’m back!  Still enjoying my reign as queen of the blog for a day.   I’m thinking that we need to have some kind of contest.  How about submitting the funniest thing that your child or a child that you know has ever said.  The winner will not only be posted on “Friday Funnies,” but will win a Starbucks gift certificate!  I will start the submissions…

My two most recent favorite sayings are from my 2-year-old nephew Jack: 
1.) He opened up his bible story book the other day and said “Hi God!”
2.) He was watching me do something around the house and when I finished he said, “Good job, NaNa (that’s the kids name for me), I’m proud of you.”

Your goal is to top these so that I won’t have to award myself the Starbucks gift certificate. Send us an e-mail with your submissions by clicking on the “Email Me” link on the left side-bar. This is gonna be fun!

Friday Funnies

This week's Friday Funny from our good friend Kathy T. is too long to put in a post. But you can download the file by clicking here. We recommend you wait until the kids are in bed, or you've arrived home from work or school, and enjoy this laugh with a steaming cup of hot herbal tea.

May the Lord bless you and keep you and make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. May the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace this weekend! (Numbers 6:24-26)

Carolyn, Nicole, Kristin, and Janelle

Friday Funnies

The stereotype of "bad women drivers" has been perpetuated for years--even though it is completely unfounded. Don't you agree?

However, we recently discovered our hubands gleefully circulating the following incriminating pictures. We are officially calling for a full investigation into the authenticity of these photographs.

Women's Parking Lot:

Women Drivers:

Please drive safely this weekend!

Carolyn, Nicole, Kristin, and Janelle

Friday Funnies

This Friday Funny is lovingly dedicated to all the moms with kids in sports. (Thanks to Terry M. for letting us share this!)

About 5 1/2 years ago (1999/2000), I attended an away game at Sandy Spring for Covenant Life School's JV basketball team. Ten minutes before the game, I decided to stop by the restroom. I found the ladies room easily enough--a small but sufficient 2-stall bathroom. I entered a stall, pulled my pants down around my knees and sat down to business. That very moment, the entire Sandy Spring JV boys basketball team flooded into the restroom. What was I to do? They were using this restroom for pre-game coaching, and I was trapped. This can't be, my thoughts protested; they didn't even mark the door. Suddenly, the walls to my stall seemed short, and the basketball players even taller than usual. Looking up, I could see the backs of heads of players who had not yet turned around, looked down and detected me. Options raced through my mind. I could draw my feet up, and hope no one looked under the door. But they were taller than the door; they would look over it if curiosity prompted them. If I were dead silent, I might go unnoticed. But that sounded like an empty hope. Besides, the more time passed, the more embarrassing the discovery would be. They might think I had been planted by the opposition team to steal game strategies. These and other outrageous thoughts whirled through my head. I was being ridiculous. They'd never believe I'm a spy; I'm a soccer mom, lost and wandering through basketball season. Paramount at the moment was getting my pants up before being found. Stealthily, I snatched up and latched my jeans and emerged, startling them all. I exited, muttering parental scolding about putting a sign on the door, and knocking. I might have heard a bashful apology from one of them, but was in too much of a hurry to acknowledge it. I have no other recollection of the game, but I'm sure the Covenant Life School Cougars beat the pants off Sandy Spring!

May the grace of God be with you this weekend!

Carolyn, Nicole, Kristin, and Janelle

Friday Funnies

This week we thought we'd poke a little fun at ourselves.

Each year on vacation we try to take a picture to chronicle the growth of our family. With three boys two and under, this is no small feat. It took three separate photo shoots (with multiple pictures per shoot) before we finally came up with a picture worth a spot on Grandma's mantle.

Given the challenge of getting five boys, our husbands, and ourselves cleaned up and looking presentable three different times, and the additional difficulty of getting all the boys happy at the same time, we weren't exactly laughing during this process. Although we did manage to smile for the camera.

Here's a picture from each shoot to give you an idea of the journey to Grandma's mantle. The final picture is the winner!

May God give you much grace, peace, and laughter this weekend!

Carolyn, Nicole, Kristin, and Janelle